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NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT |
posted by jim on 18/10/08
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Yes, I’m rubbish at this.
So much time has passed me by without fulfilling my blog duties.
I’ve said it before but I just don’t live a life worth writing or reading about.
It would be one long description of a man getting out of bed over and over again. Eating the same two – well not the exact same two but you know what I mean – Sainsbury’s own brand Weetabix every morning, watching the BBC Breakfast show and getting more and more wound up at how the programme is only about one minute long. A minute that just keeps rolling round and round, linked by ever more navel gazing presenters. Talking about their experiences on ‘Strictly’ and trying out new and crazy sports etc. And the way the Scots weather woman can’t pronounce the word Scotland has started to bother me.
After breakfast I head into the ‘office’ to check my emails and then I do one form of writing or other. Music or words usually. I browse the interweb and find nothing but still manage to waste a few hours a day looking at it. I think I preferred the web when it was just porn and Star Trek. There are too many things to check out on iplayer and Listen Again. On Listen Again I can listen again to DJs who’ve played Carter records to see what they said about the records. I’m often disappointed to find out they only played them as part of some guilty pleasures phone in, getting listeners to text and email their witty reasons for why my music should never be played on the radio ever again.
I did win all time worst haircut in pop as voted for by Orange. I beat Amy Winehouse
and Limahl from Kajagoogoo and I must confess I felt kind of proud about it all. Until I looked it up and found yet another pithy comment about how I was smelly and had a dog on a string or something.
I did a short gig for Lexapalooza in North London. I’ve been rehearsing for the Carter shows. I went to three parties. A 90th birthday party in a sheltered housing unit, a visiting US friend’s birthday party and the Cherry Red Records 30th Anniversary party, where I played a short set. That’s the most parties I’ve been to since I was sixteen.
I went to see The Dears in a building with fancy chandeliers and no parking.
As usual – when my new album is recorded it’s going to blow your minds, as is my novel and my film and so many other things I have to do before I’m thirty.
Rock on Tommy
Listens
Fleet Foxes
Glasvegas
Reads
Outer Dark – Cormac McCarthy
No Country for Old Men – Cormac McCarthy
Watches
Gone Baby Gone
Breaking and Entering
Rendition
In The Valley of Elah
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Everything is Illuminated
Keane (not the band the film)
There Will Be Blood
No Country for Old Men
Flags of Our Fathers
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THE ACCIDENTAL BLOGGER |
posted by jim on 28/08/08
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I’ve got blogger’s block. I don’t know how people do it. I read a few blogs. Andrew Collins, Richard Herring, Chris T-T and my manager Marc’s LA adventures. The one thing they have in common with each other and not with me is their regularity. My last entry here was on July 21st – a month ago.
Is it because I like to keep myself to myself, just like all serial killers and gun nuts do? Or is it more likely that I just don’t do enough with my life that is worthy of sharing with the world?
Don’t get too excited by this new blog. It doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly got loads of stuff to tell you. I haven’t walked on the moon or been nominated for a Mercury Music Prize. Seriously, what do I have to do to win that thing? Oh, I need to enter it, I see. Maybe next time.
I have started writing songs for my next Mercury Prize winning record. I’ve started eleven songs. I’ve plugged in all my dusty recording equipment to record some demos. I’ve discovered that all my dusty recording equipment is broken. So I’ve bought a replacement gizmo, which I’m currently sitting at home waiting for the delivery thereof. It’s on the truck apparently.
It’s going to be something of a concept album I’m afraid. Not as strict a concept as ‘School’ but not quite as loose a concept as ‘A Humpty Dumpty Thing’. Conceptually somewhere in between those two un-nominated for a prize masterpieces.
I don’t know what it’s going to sound like. I have an idea, but until this dude arrives with my package and I can spend a frustrating amount of time learning how to use it, I won’t be sure. I estimate that it will not be a rock record. It will probably be close to my solo live show though. But who knows, maybe it will contain something for everyone. Some R n B, some rock and a couple of ballads for the ladies. With a little bit of rapping. Or maybe it won’t. Like I say, until that lorry turns up.
I’ve bought a lo-fi video camera and plan to film the record’s development and whack it all up on the interweb.
I’ve mostly been reading ‘The Road’ by Cormac McCarthy (incredible) and ‘Knockemstiff’ by Donald Ray Pollock, I’ve been watching Rendition
Son of Rambow Vantage Point
Be Kind Rewind
Batman Begins
and listening to Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes. I went to see him live last night. He was amazingly good.
What’s that sound? Beep beep beep beep, vehicle reversing, vehicle reversing. Watch this space.
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MIGHTY MOUSE HAS COME TO SAVE THE DAY |
posted by jim on 21/07/08
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It’s been a long time.
So, I want to get rid of the fat bits and I finally got round to buying a bike. That would certainly get me fit and off my lazy arse in the way the mini trampoline and the dull sit ups and no cheese or crisps and Coca Cola diet failed to do. The bike arrived in a big cardboard box. It was ready built apart from a few easy bits of assembly, which took me two days. Then it wouldn’t stop raining. Would I ever get out on my new bicycle? Would I ever get my body back to its skinny 1990’s “Is Jim on heroin?” best?
There was a gap in the wet weather and I seized my day. I live at the top of a hill. In every direction from my house it is either very uphill or very downhill. I must have ridden about five minutes uphill before I was shaking and I was coughing and trying not to vomit. I was shocked at just how out of shape I am. It would seem that months on end of sitting in a dull room typing not all that much really into a computer doesn’t make you into Lance Armstrong.
I left the safety of my house and risked certain knife crime death the other day to film a forty-seven minute interview for Cherry Red TV. I also sung a couple of songs. It should be up on their site in about a week. I’ll let you know.
On the tube home I was already regretting half the things I said in the interview. I was in a fairly candid mood. And in the glimpses I caught of myself on the TV monitor I looked like an old fat bellied tramp.
I’ve watched these films recently. They were all good.
In order of goodness:
Joe Strummer – The Future is Unwritten
Atonement
Notes on A Scandal
Once
Notes on A Scandal
Eastern Promises
Sweeney Todd
I Am Legend
Control
Into The Wild
I saw the absolutely incredibly good Laura Marling in a church in Piccadilly.
I played a successful Glastonbury set. I got sunburned.
I read ‘Snuff’ by Chuck Palahniuk, which is filthy and outrageous and quite brilliant.
I’m currently reading ‘Atonement’.
Listening to Adam Green and Carole King.
I might self publish my novel.
I’ve been busy working on something I’m not going to talk about in case it dies on its arse before seeing the light of day. I only mention it because I wouldn’t want people to think I was wasting my life away doing sod all.
I’d like to write some new songs but they aren’t there at the moment. Give ‘em time.
I have a meeting with Gordon Brown about knife crime and what to do about it. How about this for starters:
Number 1: He brings the troops home. The money saved will help pay for my other ideas and will also set a good example to the youth. Bombing innocent people out of house and home to get your hands on their petrol is a bad example.
And then in no particular order we can plough all the money saved into opening and rebuilding all the facilities for sports and education etc that Thatcher and then Blair closed down during their time in power.
If we need something to shut down to keep a nice balance between opening and closing things. We can shut down all those shops that sell ‘sporting’ knives and swords and replica guns on the high streets. Again, they set a bad example. I know that if you want a knife you just have to go into the kitchen but glamorising the blade in the shop window can’t be helping.
Of course, if people are going to commit these horrific acts of needless violence then they should be locked up. And if there aren’t enough prisons, build another one. It isn’t rocket science. Once again, the money saved in Iraq and Afghanistan will help. Hey and think of the employment created with all the prison building.
I’m not really meeting Gordon Brown but just in case I get asked, it’s best to have some kind of a plan so I don’t look like a doughnut.
Mmmmm doughnuts.
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RANDY NEW MAN |
posted by jim on 6/06/08
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I'm back from my first proper holiday for fumfty years or so. I went to Los Angeles to spend a few days with my good friends Marc and Emma and another few days with my other good fiends Cerise and Mark. As Marc is also my manager, naturally he'd come up with a packed itinerary for my stay. I got to do all the things I should have done on my various other trips to LA with Carter but didn't do. Back in them Carter days I spent most of my time sat in a hotel room watching CNN or by a pool with a hangover. So it was brilliant to go bowling (which I was good at for the first time in my life, possibly due to the fact that I was wearing my Joe 90 glasses – yes, like my hero Elvis Costello I am now a specky – I've never got so many strikes and spares in all my life). Also perhaps due to my four eyes superpowers I won a third-life-size Spiderman for Emma at Universal Studios by throwing a ball into a hole. Also on our itinerary was the cinema for the new Indiana Jones film, educational trips to the Griffith Observatory and the Getty Centre. We also went on a bus tour of the stars Hollywood homes and saw where the Fresh Prince lived and where the Osbournes apparently didn't:they used to film there and then go home afterwards, TV is fake.
We then hired bikes to cycle up and down the beaches of LA on Memorial Day.
Here are me and Marc on the beach
I saw the bloke from the Eels whose book I'd just read, I didn't speak to him. Just before we got to LA Marc and Emma had very nearly ran Britney Spears over.
The show on the ceiling of the Samuel Oschin Planetarium theater at the Griffith Observatory was narrated by Troy McClure from the Simpsons and he also introduced the Indiana Jones movie, drove us around Hollywood in his minibus and took us on a tour of Universal Studios before it burned down. I love that about America, the showbiz. It makes a trip to Madam Tussaud's or the pictures in Croydon seem just that little bit shit.
Our days with Mark (with a k) and Cerise were lovely too. They live in the hills of Los Feliz. Great views, hummingbirds, palm trees and skunks. I didn't know till I went there that the animal skunk smelled the same as the weapons grade dope skunk. Hence the name. Parts of Los Feliz smelled like South London. Mark and Cerise are in the movie business and who knows, maybe I am too.
We flew back to London in time for me to play a few songs at the Brixton Windmill. It was weird because I had a touch of jetlag and because I'd only just got back I felt like a bit of a foreigner. Great gig though. I sung a few songs with the Abdoujaps too.
The BBC ain't half getting on my nerves these days. The latest thing they like to do is to make two versions of the same programme (the Culture Show, Jools Holland, Have I Got News For You etc). One long version and one half hour version. They show the 30 minute programme first, so you watch that one, then they tell you to catch more stuff on the full length version a couple of days later. So you have to watch the same stuff you've already watched to see the extra bits. Why not just put the full length one on and forget about the shorter version?
My mum is something of a Doctor Dolittle. In her garden she has various birds, a squirrel, a fox and now a small family of rats. It's like Farthing Wood in my mum's garden. The thing is that some nosy neighbour has seen the rats and now the council are going to come round and kill them. What really is it that makes rats so evil in the minds of humans?
They're in the garden not the house. They look pretty clean to me. Let the rats be I say. People are the same with foxes and hens with flu. Bloody murdering humans.
Back to knife crime watch. More soon.
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JIM NICE BUT DIM |
posted by jim on 7/05/08
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Without fail as soon as the sun comes out proper, so do the noisy neighbours. No, this isn’t nimbyism. They aren’t in my back yard they’re in theirs. They’ve been building something in their garden for a number of years now. Never quite get it finished. It’s like a really shitty slow episode of Ground Force. I wonder what it will turn out to be if they ever complete the work and Titchmarsh and the ginger woman with no bra come out from behind the fence with a bottle of champagne.
Every year as soon as it gets a bit sunny, just as Robin Williams might have advised them to do, they seize the day. Sawing and grinding. Shouting and ‘a hammering. The radio is on fucking loud too. I can mainly hear the bass. I think it’s some sort of 80s station with occasional nineties filler. I just heard what I think was the Eurythmics and also the Sugababes. It’s what Nelson Mandela’s Hyde Park birthday party will sound like.
I had thought of tuning my radio in to whatever it is they’re listening to, to see if one cancels out the other. Instead I went to Sainsburys. I don’t really need anything in Sainsburys. I want to sit in the garden and read my Will Self book. My shopping list demonstrates this quite well: tangy sandwich pickle, tomato ketchup, 4 potatoes, 3 onions and some Sainsbury’s own cola. The £1.29 cola price tag also illustrates my tightness.
It’s my first day off for a while. I’ve been writing something and haven’t left the house for weeks. To most people, sitting in front of a computer thinking up stuff in between surfing the net, checking email and watching The Sweeney every other day on ITV 3 or 4 is a day off. Some would say that every day of my life is a day off.
I’m going to LA soon to see my friend and manager. He has a strict and full itinerary of fun events planned. Indian Jones, Universal Studios, bowling etc. I wonder what will have happened to London by the time I get back. How long will the Boris Johnson effect take to affect. I personally think the old white haired idiot seems like a nice enough sort of bloke. I doubt he’s evil and probably is pretty genuine about most of what he says. I just wouldn’t have necessarily put him in charge of such an enormous amount of cash and responsibility
I met Ken Livingstone many years ago and although I wasn’t that impressed with how he wasn’t that impressed with meeting me, I do think if somebody has to do it then he’s probably the best man for the job of London Mayor. If it was a laugh we were after why didn’t we give the chain and mace* to Pete Doherty.
I need a day off from all these days off.
*I know the London Mayor doesn't have a chain or mace.
It was just a silly fact free gag.
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THINGS TO BUY FROM AMAZON |
posted by jim on 28/03/08
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THE START OF SUMMER
1. Les (Fruitbat) sent me this bit of audio from a Radio One interview we did as Carter sometime in 1992. It was at the big press junket in Brussels to mark the release of our LP ‘1992 The Love Album’. In the interview we both seemed pretty angry about something, or indeed, about everything. That kind of thing is quite uncomfortable to listen to now. It’s the same when I read old interviews in the NME or wherever. Not that I do that very often you understand. Although I did read a few things when I was writing my really quite superb ‘Goodnight Jim Bob’ autobiography
2. Isn’t it daft the way they’ve used ‘Blister in The Sun’ by the Violent Femmes in that lager advert and the band – I presume it’s them – have had to re-sing the words to remove any suggestion of – I don’t know what, drugs I presume. The lines that before were ‘When I’m walking I strut my stuff and I’m so strung out / I’m high as a kite, I just might stop to check you out’ have been altered slightly to ‘When I’m walking I strut my stuff and I’m so hung out / I fly like a kite, I just might stop to check you out’. Daft.
3. I’m currently working on something that I can’t talk about in case I jinx it. Like I did with my ‘novel’. Unpublished for such a long time now that it can’t be any good.
4. My unpublished novel is brilliant by the way.
5. My manager Marc seems to be having a blast in LA He’d only been there for a week when he was at a pool party with An Oscar winning actress
6. We’ve used way too much gas in our house this past quarter.
7. My nephew is playing rugby for England under 16s.
8. Mrs Bob has gone to Devon. I suspect that she and Fruitbat (in OZ), Marc (in LA), Mr Spoons (also Oz) are really in a safe house in the Cotswolds planning a big surprise party for me.
9. Go buy Chris T-T’s new LP 'CAPITAL'
It’s really good. I sing on a few songs, but don’t let that put you off.
10. I’ve bought
this:
this:
this:
this:
And this:
And this:
Oh and this:
So now you know what my next album will sound like.
More soon.
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Euro-lack-of-vision |
posted by jim on 2/03/08
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I don’t know. Picking that Andy Abrahams with his song that wouldn’t have made it onto a Lemar album over Michele Gayle’s obvious Eurovision winning tune. Makes me want to emigrate.
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KEEPING IT TO MYSELF |
posted by jim on 18/02/08
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I tend to get involved in stuff I’m not allowed to talk about. Not like I’m a spy or have signed some secrecy act, official or otherwise. There’s no scandal either, it’s just that I get involved in things that or may not happen and I don’t want to appear as a Barry bullshitter or a failure when they invariably don’t come to fruition. Sorry for the vagueness, that’s the problem you see. I’m working on a couple of things that may never see the light of day, so rather than curse them by bigging them up or cause disappointment (to myself in particular) like I did when I rambled on about my novel that still isn’t published. What I’m trying to say is that I am busy, I’m not just sitting around watching TV and eating chocolate. Well I am doing a fair amount of that too. But anyway.
Falling into a similar category is whether or not Carter ever play again. We’ve had some offers and requests, particularly from people who missed out on the last two Carter reunion shows to do more gigs. So we sent out an email to the Carter email list asking for advice and opinions. Mostly the feedback was yes we should do some more Carter gigs. There were some negative responses and some quite aggressively so, like we’d suggested a comeback for Hitler.
Rehearsed with the band who’ll be playing with me for the 100 Club gigs in April. It sounded brilliant. Absolutely so.
Played three really enjoyable gigs in Portsmouth, Manchester and Wolverhampton. My manager goes to Los Angeles for a year in March and these would be the last Team Jim Bob outings for a while. I’ll miss the Marks and Spencer sandwiches, the in car podcasting, the nob gags, the arguments about football, Dr Who assistants and the excessive use of the name Barry. Two of the gigs were sold out which as I may have said in the past are my two favourite words. Coincidentally the two least favourite words of those who think we might be reforming Hitler.
I’ve been listening to the wonderfully intense Laura Marling and have finally finished reading the epic ‘The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay’.
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WHO DO I THINK I AM? |
posted by jim on 18/01/08
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I’ve been researching, or should that be growing my family tree. Pruning the many branches that have emerged from its trunk, watering and hugging it. I feel like a private detective. Every time I match a date with a name. Each cross reference a little victory, as I head towards cracking the case. I’m concentrating on one side of my mum’s family because that’s the bit that has turned out to be the most immediately interesting. I’ve always liked that programme ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ although I never really understood why they got so emotional about it all until I got stuck into my own ancestry. I feel like I know these dead people. I’ve begun to bore people by telling them all about it. Including you now.
We’re having another go with my Humpty Dumpty LP. Re releasing it. This time it’s been promised some reviews, fingers crossed they aren’t too harsh. I’m not good with criticism. I have low enough self-esteem as it is and don’t really need any assistance.
I’ve got to put a band together for my April 100 Club gigs. I know surprisingly few musicians really. All my friends are leaving the country. Marc is going to LA and so is Chris T-T. Les, Richy and Mr Spoons are going to Australia. My missus is off to Devon. March is going to be a lonely month.
I’ve had a new year clearout. I had to buy a new printer/scanner/copier and to make a space for it, it was finally time to chuck the old Carter photocopier out. The one we were given as part of our deal with Chrysalis Records in 1991. It doesn’t work and just takes a up a big chunk of space. It’s on the floor now, maybe I’ll get it to the rubbish dump soon, along with the TV that doesn’t work that’s been sat on the floor for about six months and the two Adat recorders that don’t work and whose only purpose is to bang and cut my shins and knees as I squeeze past them every now and again.
It’s raining.
Still no publishing deal for my nov. A couple of near misses. I suppose it’s getting beyond silly now. Like it doesn’t exist and I just keep banging on about it. In spite of the low rewards I might even start another book. To be honest I sort of have already. At least when I do sign that big fuck off JK Rowling type book deal I’ll be ready with my follow up bestseller.
I’m currently reading 'The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay’
by Michael Chabon. I’m listening to The Rolling Stones
and Townes Van Zandt . I’m watching ‘Citizen Smith’: a series of BBC 4 documentaries with Michael Smith who wrote Giro Playboy/ .
Still raining. I actually quite like the rain.
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TEAM JIM BOB'S REVIEW OF THE CULTURAL YEAR 2007 |
posted by jim on 17/12/07
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Team Jim Bob Cultural review 2007
It’s that time of year again. The Team Jim Bob Top Tens of the cultural year. I struggled myself with a few of the categories – for example, top ten gigs of the year. I only went to about three that I wasn’t playing at myself. My selection is yet more evidence of the fact that I need to get out more. Maybe next year. My staying in wasn’t exactly jam-packed either. Most of the records I bought this year were by Bob Dylan or were CD versions of vinyl I already owned: like Wire and Cockney Rebel. I really need to stay in more. Maybe next year. Jim Bob xxx
JIM BOB
BOOKS
What Is the What – Dave Eggers
Apathy and Other Small Victories – Paul Neilan
My Booky Wook – Russell Brand
Rant – Chuck Palahniuk
Piercing – Ryu Murakami
Douglas Coupland – The Gum Thief
Shorty Loves Wing Wong – Michael Smith
A Man without a Country – Kurt Vonnegut
FILMS
The Science of Sleep
Perfume
Half Nelson
Blades of Glory
Hot Fuzz
28 Weeks Later
Prestige
Blood Diamond
Last King of Scotland
Casino Royale (Annual Team JB cinema trip)
ALBUMS
Neon Bible – Arcade Fire
Cassadaga – Bright Eyes
Arctic monkeys – Favourite Worst Nightmare
Art brut – It’s a bit complicated
Rufus Wainwright – Release the stars
GIGS
Arcade Fire at Brixton Academy
Bright Eyes (three times)
TV
Flight of the Conchords
I.T. Crowd
Saxondale
Peep Show
Heroes
Lead Balloon
Recovery
NCIS
The State Within
CSI
OTHER STUFF
Slava’s Snow Show at Wimbledon Theatre
Russell Brand’s radio show on 2
Russell Howard and Jon Richardson’s radio show on 6
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MARC
Top 10 albums of the year
1. Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
2. Jim Bob - A Humpty Dumpty Thing
3. Bright Eyes - Cassadaga
4. Kate Nash - Made Of Bricks
5. Abdoujaparov - Cycle Riot History Ganf
6. Jake Shillingford - Written Large
7. Polyphonic Spree - The Fragile Army
8. The Enemy - We'll Live And Die In These Towns
9. Interpol - Our Love To Admire
10. Babyshambles - Shotters Nation
Top 10 tracks of the year
1. Arcade Fire - Intervention
2. Jim Bob - Cartoon Dad
3. Mouthwash - Kate Nash
4. Bright Eyes - Make A Plan To Love Me
5. Indelicates - Sixteen
6. The Rakes - Suspicious Eyes
7. Abdoujaparov - Snoozy Girl
8. Manic Street Preachers - Your Love Alone Is Not Enough
9. British Sea Power - Atom
10. Sultans of Ping - Kick That Dirty Job
Top 10 gigs of the year
1. Carter USM - Brixton Academy
2. Carter USM - Glasgow Barrowlands
3. Arcade Fire - Brixton Academy
4. Bright Eyes - Shepherds Bush Empire
5. Abdoujaparov - Water Rats
6. Sex Pistols - Brixton Academy
7. Bright Eyes - Glastonbury Festival
8. Arcade Fire - Alexander Palace
9. My Life Story - Shepherds Bush Empire
10. Spice Girls - O2
Top 10 tv programmes of the year
1. Doctor Who
2. Strictly Come Dancing
3. Dragons Den
4. Sarah Jane Adentures
5. Lost
6. Heroes
7. Saxondale
8. Property Ladder
9. Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares
10. The IT Crowd
Hero of the year: Arsene Wenger
Idiot of the year: David Cameron
Book of the year: Douglas Coupland - The Gum Thief
Film Of The Year: 28 Weeks Later
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MR SPOONS
Favourite Album: Little Man Tate
Favourite Song: Orson's cover of 'Push the button' has been most played on the old iPod, hon.mention to Chris T-T's song about Xmas Turkeys too.
Favourite Gigs: Poly'spree at Astoria, Mick Thomas at Dingwalls (mainly for explaining the story behind 'For a short time'), Laura Imbruglia at some dive in Camden, Chris T-T at 93 feet East (all 20 minutes of it)
Worst gig: Sex Pistols by a cuntry mile
TV Shows: Doctor Who, Prison Break, Studio 60, Lost, Sarah Jane
Hero of the Year: Clinton Morrison (on achieving 100 goals for Palace)
Idiot of the Year: Steve MacLaren
Book of the Year: Shocking year on the Dr Who/travel writing front, so I'm reluctantly going for 'Piano in the Pyrenees - Tony Hawks': mildly entertaining froth
Film of the Year: Casino Royale - the only one I saw this year at the cinema (Marc & Jim don't let me include ones I see on aeroplanes)
"For the avoidance of doubt, my list excludes all Carter-related stuff, or it would be an even more dull list than it current is - Love & a Beery Xmas, Spoons
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