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POP WILL EAT ITSELF – I WILL EAT BISCUITS |
posted by jim on 31/01/05
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I haven’t been here for a while because of those hacker people but now I am back.
I had a meeting with my über manager Marcus T.O. and biscuits were involved. We weren’t drunk when we decided to reform Jim’s Super Stereoworld for one night only in May.
I was drunk onstage in Athens in January, although not much really considering the amount of different alcohols I’d been given over the course of the thirty hours or so we were in Greece. I love Athens, the gig was wonderful again and I got to try my audience in a different country winning over trick that had been so successful for me previously in Germany. I learned the word for wanker. And I used it as much as possible. The gig marked a major achievement in my musician life when I managed to change and tune a string while onstage and didn’t lose the audience, hooray for me.
I went to see Pop Will Eat Itself playing live again, it was a great show and I got to step back in time at the bar afterwards with members of EMF, PWEI, Silverfish, Blaggers ITA and The Wonderstuff. The PWEI gigs have further stoked the coals of the should Carter reform fire. It’s nice to be wanted and appreciated.
I’ve written and am in the midst of recording a new single for May, it’s called Dumb And Dumber, it’s a pop song about the end of the world.
Books: Invisible Monsters – Chuck Palahniuk, Running With Scissors – Augusten Burroughs.
Music: Changing Faces – The Very Best of Rod Stewart & The Faces 1969-1974.
TV: Dalziel & Pascoe are back.
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ALL IS QUIET ON NEW YEAR'S DAY |
posted by neil on 5/01/05
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Apart from the rhythmic thud thud thud-thud of the kick drum of the pop song on the stereo of the girl next door. An indecipherable tune worse and more infuriating than any bus Walkman, what is it, what is it?
And the car alarm as the car door unlocks and the five yard walk that's five yards too far so he has to honk his car horn instead.
A new year. My least favourite day out of the way. I used to love New Year's Eve when I was a kid. My Scots family always had a party and my dad would be sent outside to the next door neighbours at midnight with a piece of coal and a
glass of whisky. And we'd link arms and sing. A while back things started to go wrong on the 31st of every December: I tried to attack a couple of policemen outside Crystal Palace Station and had to appear on Top Of The Pops on the roof of a Mini with my hand bandaged up. Or the year I couldn't get a taxi to go South of the river, no matter how much I slurred and shouted and no matter how much money I waved at the taxi drivers and then I got into a fight with a
traffic island which led to another bandage. So I stay inside, once again watching Jools Holland and one after another blues/soul legend who we don't really know ruin one of their old classics and this year "treat" Eric
Clapton. Like watching your bank manager rock out. On guitar: Tony Blair. Mind you, Ian Hunter was good. And is it just me but or can we hear the same two Franz Ferdinand songs just too many times.
My resolutions tend to be the same every new twelve months, I don't smoke and so they usually come under the heading DO STUFF.
2005, I'm thinking, create things, be creative, write another book, record an acoustic album, record an album with a school choir, record an album with an orchestra, write another book, get fit, buy a pushbike, buy a motorbike, learn a language, have piano lessons, move house, travel, shave my head, grow my hair, grow a beard, try a moustache, get one of those Hong Kong tailors to fit
me for a lifetime of suits, form a band, stay solo, go on a book festival tour, play some rock festivals, get politically motivated, meet Simon Cowell in a pub and get into a fist fight with him, poison Tony Blair like they did to that bloke in the Ukrane, get my eyes tested, sort my left ear out, get my guitar fixed, invite my friends round for dinner, go on holiday and draw what I see instead of taking photographs, get my face on telly, turn down Celebrity pig wank, give my O.B.E. back, stand in for a DJ on a radio show, meet somebody famous, decorate a room in my house, go in the garden more often, surprise somebody on their birthday with a party, do stuff...
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AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! |
posted by jim on 18/12/04
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Technically there’s five and a half shopping days left till Christmas: realistically I don’t like shopping on Sundays so that’s four and a half, Monday I’m going to visit my Mum, three and a half, Tuesday I’m recording a session for Virgin Radio, Christmas Eve I don’t like shopping. Which leaves me a day and a half to buy some more presents, in fact just the one day because ‘39 Steps’ with Robert Doughnuts is on the telly this afternoon.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
My rough review of the cultural year in a top five format:
Top Five Albums
1. The Libertines – The Libertines
2. Nick Cave – Abattoir Blues/The Lyre Of Orpheus
3. The Killers – Hot Fuss
4. The Streets – A Grand Don't Come For Free
5. Badly Drawn Boy - One plus One Is One
Bands/Acts
1. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2. The Libertines
3. Chris T-T
4. The Killers
5. Art Brut
Gigs (I only really went to one if you exclude friends’ gigs, I’m very very old)
1. Nick Cave @ Brixton Academy
2. Mister Spoons (Gary Numan tribute act) @ Aberdeen Dr Drakes
Songs Of The Year
1. Can't Stand Me Now – The Libertines
2. Year of The Rat – Badly Drawn Boy
3. Dry Your Eyes – The Streets
4. Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine - The Killers
5. There She Goes, My Beautiful World – Nick Cave
TV Programmes of The Year
1. Peep Show
2. Grass
3. Q.I.
4. Without A Trace
5. Dirty Filthy Love
Films Of The Year
1. The Incredibles
2. Lost In Translation
3. Bartleby
4. School of Rock
5. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Books Of The Year
1. Douglas Coupland – Eleanor Rigby
2. Mark Haddon – The Curious Incident Of The Dog
3. Chuck Palahniuk – Diary
4. Robert Newman – The Fountain At the Centre Of The World
5. Max Barry – Jennifer Government
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PORTSMOUTH, CAMBRIDGE AND LONDON TOWN |
posted by jim on 3/12/04
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Spent a couple of days whipping myself into shape, press-ups and sit-ups, 10 mile morning runs, floatation tanks, meditation, yoga, primal screaming and such like. Ready for action and a gig at a student bar in Cambridge, best gig of the tour so far perhaps, feeling good, stayed in a capsule hotel, it felt like Amsterdam without the drug bores and stag weekenders.
Next day Portsmouth, Edge of the Wedge(wood Rooms): a free gig with a guest list, it was a bit like an office Christmas party before I started playing. I read one section of my book for 17 minutes, a new book reading onstage record. Lots of songs, played for bloody hours, striped cocktails, nice staff, no Doug Hedges, who is Doug Hedges?, Best gig of the tour.
London: does storming off stage, throwing your guitar on the floor, kicking a wall and a door and headbutting another door mean it was a good gig or a bad gig? If everyone says the gig was great and I hated it was it good? If a tree falls in a forest and there’s nobody there etc…
I hate technical problems, the sound on stage was the worst of my short solo career and I struggled to play and sing with any confidence. It started with a buggered up intro tape and ended with a premature balloon drop. With hindsight I think the rows of seats gig is not the best place to see me perform. Random chairs and tables, some people standing = good. Everyone in rows = not so. I woke up this morning with less idea of what to do with my life than at any time since I was a depressed teenager. All suggestions should be posted on the jim bob forum, perhaps under a heading of ‘what I think Jim Bob should do next’.
Thank you to everyone for coming to the gigs, buying stuff and putting up with my rambling, meandering, bad guitaring and door headbutting.
Special nod to Team Jim Bobbers Marc and Neil.
As Arnold S once said, “I’ll be back.”
(And look where he ended up.)
SONGS PLAYED ON THE TOUR
COME ON SMART BOMB
VICTIM
BILLY’S SMART CIRCUS
ALL AMERICAN NATIONAL SPORT
RENT
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID
TONGUE TIED
RAY OF LIGHT
A WORLD WITHOUT DAVE
BORN ON THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER
BACHELOR FOR BADEN POWELL
GEORGIE’S MARVELLOUS MEDICINE
BAD DAY
WHEN YOU’RE GONE
REVENGE OF THE SCHOOL BULLIED
BIG FLASH CAR
CANDY FLOSS
FERAL KIDS
THE ONLY LIVING BOY IN NEW CROSS
TRAVIS
JOHNNY CASH
GLAM ROCK COPS
YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU
SHOPPERS’ PARADISE
A NATION OF SHOPLIFTERS
ANGELSTRIKE!
HER SONG
SHERIFF FATMAN
TOUCHY FEELY
CLOSURE
CHILDRENS’ TERRORISM
AFTER THE WATERSHED
PRINCE IN A PAUPER’S GRAVE
GI BLUES
55 CARDS
SOULMATES
COMMON PEOPLE
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TOUR PART ONE |
posted by jim on 28/11/04
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I’m never sure what level of honesty to apply to this thing. Brutal? The truth the whole truth and nothing but? Boyband bullshit?
I am my harshest critic, and that’s saying something because some people in the press would prefer it if I was dead. So I apologise for any misery in the following guff, I’m writing it on a Sunday, my least favourite day of the week. Hollyoaks is on for too long, my Channel 5 reception is too wobbly to watch ‘Battle Of Britain’ and Monarch Of The Glen has seriously deteriorated since the first series. It’s the first non travelling day off and I’m holding an autopsy and they’re always a bit bloody and unpleasant, so if you’re of a nervous disposition, look away now.
The last UK tour was always going to be pretty difficult to top, there were so many extraordinary gigs, some of my favourite ever – and that includes Carter ones.
So: Sheffield Boardwalk, I think I chose the wrong set of songs and as a result I felt I was losing people a bit in the middle. The reading wasn’t as good as it was in May, perhaps because I felt I was repeating myself and in desperately trying to avoid doing so I decided to read bits from the book I’d not read before – with hindsight not maybe the best stuff for a live reading. Sorry, my fault, I’ll sort it out before Glasgow. We had a long Team Jim Bob discussion/argument deep into the night about the setlist and came up with a better one. King Tut’s I’m afraid was not as intense as the ridiculously packed and just painted 13th Note, so it was harder work. There was football on to keep people away and Mull Historical Society gigs in town as well. Don’t get me wrong, both Sheffield and Glasgow were fantastic, it’s just after last time, anyone who was at the previous Sheff and Glas gigs will know they were a fucking riot.
My girlfriend and daughter have narrowly missed a drive by shooting, I hate guns and violent people, why can’t they just shoot themselves and leave the rest of us alone.
Birmingham, I played two sets as there was no support, it was quiet at first, mainly because of the school hall seating arrangement but came together and turned into a fandabidosi evening. We did however have a spot of trub with getting paid, which left me feeling like a shit busker who just started playing the guitar about a week ago. More news on this soon.
Hartlepool was a struggle, too much talking, not enough new songs, who wants to hear some bloke reading a book anyway. The supports were fantastic and Keith Burton was perhaps too funny for me to follow him with a load of songs about getting mugged, war, pestilence, etc. Lovely promoter called Wayne.
The next three shows will be totally and utterly brilliant. I will make absolutely sure of this. I’m going to play them like my life depends on it. Cheer up Jim you miserable sod. My fingers are hurting.
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STICKS AND STONES |
posted by jim on 21/11/04
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'The Revenge Of The School Bullied' from Angelstrike! was reviewed on BBC 6 Music the other day by Mari Wilson (80s star/big hair), some bloke from Rough Trade and the editor of Word magazine.
For anyone who didn't hear it, the general opinion was that Carter were rubbish and therefore so is my new album. I think listening to it was fairly pointless. I do hate it when people say things aren't their cup of tea though, what does that mean exactly? What's your cup of tea? Mine is Tickety Boo Tea, with Billy Connolly on the box and profits going to charity. Although I do generally drink coffee, unless I'm round at Fruitbat's house where I usually have PG Tips.
Anyway, it's nice to still be judged on my ridiculous haircut and big shorts, I really must get some long trousers and a date with my barber.
It doesn't really matter of course, Andrew Collins likes the album – he' s recommended 'My Face Your Arse' in this month's Word mag and reviews the album in next month's edition. And as long as it's being played on the radio I don't care what people are saying about it afterwards.
Which of course I do, because I'm pretty sensitive and for me I'm afraid words hurt just as much as sticks. And indeed stones.
I should be appearing on the show myself soon and hereby swear I shall not refer to any record as not my cup of tea. In fact I herby further swear to try and slot in the all new breakfast drink related phrase: "I like that song, it's my cup of tea."
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BEEF |
posted by jim on 19/11/04
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A good week for do gooder vegetarians such as me.
Hunting banned and beef removed from Bovril.
I remember when I worked for a living, on a cold West End winter morning unloading a lorryload of silk and breaking for a bacon or sausage sandwich and a steaming cup of Bovril. Quorn and McCartney have made the sausage and bacon ingredients possible but Marmite makes a rubbish drink. Now my silk unloading days can be relived and remembered in full. And anyone who could kill a fox or take part in killing one has something wrong woth their chi. Boomshanka.
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MY RECENT LIFE |
posted by jim on 15/11/04
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Birthday, Christmas, Easter, Pop Idol type programme/record, Nick Cave gig:
Every year I go and see Nick Cave live and every year he fails to dissapoint me. The only thing is my memory of the show is always tainted by the memory of the big drunk twat stood next to me swaying back and forth, taking poxy crappy little out of focus pictures on his mobile phone, doing ridiculous gangsta rap style gestures during 'Stager Lee' and generally obscuring my view. Also the other twats stood behind me with the entire contents of their hallway coat and hatstand piled up under my feet so I can't move. And basically anyone who can't pass two hours of their life without making a phone call.
Played the Joe Strummer Remembrance Sunday gig in Brighton for the second year running, tried out a few new songs live and a few more Carter ones I haven't played before. Enjoyed myself, had some crisps on the way there.
Band Aid, mmm. I think charity is a great thing I really do but I can't help feeling uncomfortable when I see all these pop stars on the telly dressed up and hairdo'd with their posh cars and butlers and personal assistants and minders. And to hear Joss hasn't she got an amazing voice for a teenager from Cornwall Stone asking her mum what was the name of that bloke...that's it Bob Geldof. And Busted, who I normally have a lot of time for, talking about reading a leaflet about it on the way to the recording studio and how there's a problem out there. And then knowing there'll be the ad libbing of the chorus by all those great singers like Stone and Beddingield, ruining any tune or trace of melody that was there in the first place. And Bono flying over to redo his bit because his manager heard that that bloke from the Darkness had done it instead, and oh the money it must all cost and do they really make any profit after they've paid all the hairdressers and stylists and helicoptor pilots and drug barons and poodle (to stroke) handlers, and photographers, and cameramen, and and and and and and...
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My New Band |
posted by jim on 9/11/04
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The last firework has been lit.
A busy week for Jim Bob as I rehearsed with my new band: Rowland Rivron on drums, Richard Vranch (Whose Line Is It Anyway etc) on keyboards, Dave Catlin Birch (Bootleg Paul McCartney with the Bootleg Beatles) on bass and Robert Newman on Banolele (neck of a ukele/body of a banjo).
We formed briefly for a BBC Radio 2 programme called Jammin’ – a mixture of music and gags. I won’t tell you what I did as that would spoil any enjoyment you might get out of it when it’s broadcast at the start of next year. Anyway, I had to learn a lot of new guitar stuff and become a musician for a day.
Despite ridiculous pre-rehearsal nerves I enjoyed myself and hope this is my big break into the world of BBC light entertainment. Maybe I’ll be asked to appear on Band Aid’s 30th anniversary re release in 2014. I hope I can do the Bono bit.
The tour’s approaching, I need to start decorating my table and picking my songs. To sit on a stool or to not sit on a stool, so many questions. I expect I’ll go for a bit of both, just like Westlife.
I was watching the X Factor on Saturday and it was annoying me so I turned over for strictly Come Dancing, where there was a really bad singer performing bad covers while someone from Eastenders was thrown around the studio by a man in a shiny trouser suit. The bad cabaret singer on the BBC was however slightly better than the nob jockey over on ITV who apparently has the X factor, whatever that may be. Is it like the wow factor in all the house buying programmes.
We used to be a nation of shopkeepers but now we are a nation of estate agents.
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JAMMIN' BUB SHEEWAR DE DAH |
posted by jim on 4/11/04
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I have this blog thing so I feel I
should occasionally use it.
Yesterday (Wednesday) I went to a church hall in Totto Court Road to rehearse ideas for 'Jammin'' – the Radio 2 show I'm on. I feel better about it now, I was beyond anxious before, thinking I would be out musicianed and out funnied. I'm more relaxed now and just have about a million or so songs to learn.
The show is recorded next week and broadcast in February by the way.
Halloween = only one set of ghost kids showed up, so felt less terrorised than usual. And got to eat all the mini Mars Bars and Starburst ourselves. Ronnie result.
Bonfire night continues, now into it's second month. This year we'll be at the girlfriend's brother's for sparklers and baked potatoes. On November the 5th, wasn't somebody born on that date?
More soon.
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