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I SHOULDN'T BE WRITING THIS |
posted by jim on 15/03/05
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I shouldn’t be writing this, I really shouldn’t.
I’m supposed to be writing a book and rehearsing songs for gigs in May.
It’s so easy to be distracted, I’ve tried to be disciplined but it hasn’t worked out. I want to be one of those get up at five in the morning, bake my own bread and go for a run, come home with the newspaper, have a read of it, make a big old breakfast and a bucket of coffee and then start working at eight am.
It hasn’t worked out.
My computer I’ve been writing on is attached to the internet which doesn’t help, I keep looking for new music to listen to that might inspire me or keep me company. I’ve just bought the ‘I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning’ album by that Bright Eyes dude, I’m listening to it now, it’s fucking great. A brilliant start to an album, I love that.
I keep checking my word count, is that a good way to write? What did Dickens and Shakespeare do before word count existed? Did they keep counting their words as they went along, did they employ someone to count their words for them, a medieval or Dickensian word count. It’s more like a long distance horse race sometimes, fifty per cent of the acceptable fences down. On my way to the acceptable amount of sentences to be called ‘book’.
Of course if I ever do finish it I’ll have to go through the indignity of finding somebody willing to print it and bind it in a nice cover and then if that happens there’s all the potential bad reviews and self doubt that brings.
I didn’t realise what I was letting myself in for when I announced that I’d be playing songs from all the Carter albums (apart from the last one that I don’t like much), I’ve now got to learn so many songs that I’ve either forgotten or never really knew how to play in the first place. And which ones work acoustically, a song like ‘Evil’ I hoped to do but it’s only really got one chord in it.
Discipline again. Get out the old albums and work through them. I couldn’t find a copy of ’30 Something’, at first, eventually I did. It’s terrible really that I don’t own some of my own stuff.
I scored 63 out of 70 in the national entertainment test on BBC on Saturday, which apparently puts me in the top 1 per cent of entertainment boffins in the country. I really need to get out more.
Back to work.
TV: Outlaws, Super Volcano
Music: Bright Eyes, The Dears, The Jam, The Only Ones
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I HOWARD HUGHDIUS |
posted by jim on 5/03/05
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I’ve been further practicing my Howard Hughesisms, that Aviator film is about me, I was bitterly disappointed it didn’t get the Oscar, although it might have done as I couldn’t watch the Oscs because they were only showing on Sky, I hate Rupert Murdoch. I rarely venture out from the warmth and safety of my house. I have an excuse as I’m pretending to be a writer, I don’t need to go anywhere or do anything. I did go to the theatre though, for the matinee performance of Don Carlos. From my seat a mile and a half away from the stage I could tell that it was a great play and the acting was superb, lots of people from telly in it: Derek Jacobi from I Claudius, the curly fella from Coupling, Una Stubbs from Till Death Us Do Part and some bloke who’s been in everything but I couldn’t name a single thing, you know the type of actor.
I’ve been dealing with the Carter mail orders while Leslie is in Oztralia watching cars go round in circles and doing the occasional Abdoujaparov gig
My crazy management decided it would be a great idea to perform a gig in somebody’s house, somebody who bid the highest on an auction on ebay, it starts in April, I hope it’s not a wealthy mentalist.
I need a new guitar but have an irrational – make that rational – fear of music shops and the people who work there. If only they sold guitars in Marks and Spencer.
I need exercise.
I’ve got my appointment for the hearing doctor in April, I’m getting used to functioning on one ear, I’d almost forgotten about it.
Music: Quite a bit of Elvis Costello lately
That Rufus Wainwright has me perplexed, I know I shouldn’t like the Thom York soundalike thing but the lyrics are really good, especially the song ‘Gay Messiah’ where he sings ‘I won’t be the one baptised in cum’ or something like that.
Films: Three for twenty quid: Adaptation, About Schmidt and the April one, can’t remember what it’s called and having seen it yet. The other two were great, I love Charlie Kaufman.
More soon.
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MY BIG BRIXTON WEEKEND |
posted by jim on 21/02/05
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“Jealousy, turning saints into the sea”
The Killers – 'Mr Brightside'
It’s not often that I – practically a voluntary housebound poor man’s Howard Hughes – leave the house for both nights of a weekend.
Saturday night I went to see the pop group The Killers at Brixton Academy. A proper sod the fire regulations sold out show. Gigs like this fill me with goosebumps and envy. Squillions of people singing and bouncing along with every word at Brixton’s Academy. For a second rock quote: “If I hadn’t seen such riches, I could live with being poor” (James – ‘Sit Down’) I used to love that singing and bouncing along with every word thing. I want it again but I’m old and pessimistic enough to know the zeitgeist whatever that is, is like lightning and doesn’t strike twice in the same place, unless it’s on a golf course.
So I content myself with enjoying the songs of The Killers, which are really fucking great. And feel a bit of jealousy and then go home. Oh yeah, I went into the guest bar, somewhere I haven’t been allowed for a few years, I saw The new The Killers – The Bravery, some other rock group looking people and Fearne Cotton and her friend Sarah Cawood.
Once more I curse the Hollywood legend and Austrian actress Hedy Lamarr for inventing spread spectrum technology, which aside from guiding various missiles into buildings is also the technology that makes the mobile phone so very possible. Doubling up as a camera for taking shitty out of focus pictures of rock groups in Brixton venues in front of my face. Thanks Hedy.
Sunday late afternoon into evening and night I was back in Brixton for a Tsunami benefit at the Windmill. I played as did Abdoujaparov, Rhesus (featuring Jim Geldof Rhesus, the man largely responsible for a whole week of benefits), Ciccone and Barrel. There aren’t many people onstage who haven’t at some point played with Abdoujaparov: Ben plays drums with Barrel and Abdoujaparov, Richy Cockfosters plays guitar with Barrel and Abdou, Andy Duke sings with Barrel and used to play bass with Abdou, Ciccone bass player Danny is bass player with Abdou, Ciccone drummer Damo played drums on the jap’s new single, Rhesus drummer Arran J Lovechild played drums with Abdou, I once played guitar with Abdou.
It was a great evening. I feel I have now purged myself of my hated Bloomsbury Theatre show with my first gig since that day outside Greece.
Three quarters of Jim’s Super Stereoworld were present, the reunion begins.
Films: The Village, Ron Burgundy – Anchorman, About Scmidt
Book: Started yet another Chuck Palahniuk book, ‘Lullaby’ and have realised I shouldn’t discuss what I’m reading or listening to as I’ve just found out Chuck’s next book is a genre busting work that busts similar genres as the thing I’m attempting to write myself. Everyone will call me a plagiarist.
Music: The Dears – No Cities Left.
I watched the NME Awards and have decided I like The Kaiser Chiefs best.
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MISTER SPOONS WANTS A BLOG |
posted by jim on 15/02/05
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Not a lot to speak of in the world of me. Been writing, been recording. Finished the Dumb And Dumber single to release it seems to coincide with the general election. Vote for me. Buy my single. Expect that kind of quarter arsed marketing in the coming months. There’s a great punk version of live favourite (well it’s mine anyway) Song For My Friends on the B-side of the CD – however that works. The management’s family says it sounds like the Libertines, I find it hard to hide my influences I’m afraid.
Written a fair bit of what would maybe make a book someday, started editing some of it and realised it needed it. More on that soon. It’s an old cliché, but the fine line between writing and browsing the web, making coffee, replying to emails, hoping somebody rings with some gossip, that fine line is getting finer by the day.
Got involved in a web argument about whether Thatcher dropping down dead was a good or bad thing, worthy of a party or not worthy of a party. I haven’t been to a party for ages.
Books: Still reading Invisible Monsters – Chuck Palahniuk, I’m a notoriously slow bedtime reader, I keep falling asleep. The time it takes me to drop off when I’m reading is perhaps a good indication of the quality of the book on my pillow. Actually Chuck keeps me up quite late.
I’m going to see the Killers in Brixton at the weekend and then playing a few songs in the same town myself at a Tsunami benefit the following day. It’s a tour!
Crossed something off my new year resolution to do list by going to the doctors so she could root around in my ear with a torch. She was perplexed as to what’s wrong with me. I know myself of course because I’ve found it on the www. But you can’t self diagnose in front of the qualified, it really pisses them off. I await an appointment at the earhole, nose and throat. Hopefully before my ears drop off. More soon. Or perhaps later considering the ongoing decline of the NHS. Vote for me.
Music: still re-buying my old records on CD: Talking Heads ‘77’ – The Jam ‘All Mod Cons’ Just ordered the Dears
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POP WILL EAT ITSELF – I WILL EAT BISCUITS |
posted by jim on 31/01/05
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I haven’t been here for a while because of those hacker people but now I am back.
I had a meeting with my über manager Marcus T.O. and biscuits were involved. We weren’t drunk when we decided to reform Jim’s Super Stereoworld for one night only in May.
I was drunk onstage in Athens in January, although not much really considering the amount of different alcohols I’d been given over the course of the thirty hours or so we were in Greece. I love Athens, the gig was wonderful again and I got to try my audience in a different country winning over trick that had been so successful for me previously in Germany. I learned the word for wanker. And I used it as much as possible. The gig marked a major achievement in my musician life when I managed to change and tune a string while onstage and didn’t lose the audience, hooray for me.
I went to see Pop Will Eat Itself playing live again, it was a great show and I got to step back in time at the bar afterwards with members of EMF, PWEI, Silverfish, Blaggers ITA and The Wonderstuff. The PWEI gigs have further stoked the coals of the should Carter reform fire. It’s nice to be wanted and appreciated.
I’ve written and am in the midst of recording a new single for May, it’s called Dumb And Dumber, it’s a pop song about the end of the world.
Books: Invisible Monsters – Chuck Palahniuk, Running With Scissors – Augusten Burroughs.
Music: Changing Faces – The Very Best of Rod Stewart & The Faces 1969-1974.
TV: Dalziel & Pascoe are back.
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ALL IS QUIET ON NEW YEAR'S DAY |
posted by neil on 5/01/05
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Apart from the rhythmic thud thud thud-thud of the kick drum of the pop song on the stereo of the girl next door. An indecipherable tune worse and more infuriating than any bus Walkman, what is it, what is it?
And the car alarm as the car door unlocks and the five yard walk that's five yards too far so he has to honk his car horn instead.
A new year. My least favourite day out of the way. I used to love New Year's Eve when I was a kid. My Scots family always had a party and my dad would be sent outside to the next door neighbours at midnight with a piece of coal and a
glass of whisky. And we'd link arms and sing. A while back things started to go wrong on the 31st of every December: I tried to attack a couple of policemen outside Crystal Palace Station and had to appear on Top Of The Pops on the roof of a Mini with my hand bandaged up. Or the year I couldn't get a taxi to go South of the river, no matter how much I slurred and shouted and no matter how much money I waved at the taxi drivers and then I got into a fight with a
traffic island which led to another bandage. So I stay inside, once again watching Jools Holland and one after another blues/soul legend who we don't really know ruin one of their old classics and this year "treat" Eric
Clapton. Like watching your bank manager rock out. On guitar: Tony Blair. Mind you, Ian Hunter was good. And is it just me but or can we hear the same two Franz Ferdinand songs just too many times.
My resolutions tend to be the same every new twelve months, I don't smoke and so they usually come under the heading DO STUFF.
2005, I'm thinking, create things, be creative, write another book, record an acoustic album, record an album with a school choir, record an album with an orchestra, write another book, get fit, buy a pushbike, buy a motorbike, learn a language, have piano lessons, move house, travel, shave my head, grow my hair, grow a beard, try a moustache, get one of those Hong Kong tailors to fit
me for a lifetime of suits, form a band, stay solo, go on a book festival tour, play some rock festivals, get politically motivated, meet Simon Cowell in a pub and get into a fist fight with him, poison Tony Blair like they did to that bloke in the Ukrane, get my eyes tested, sort my left ear out, get my guitar fixed, invite my friends round for dinner, go on holiday and draw what I see instead of taking photographs, get my face on telly, turn down Celebrity pig wank, give my O.B.E. back, stand in for a DJ on a radio show, meet somebody famous, decorate a room in my house, go in the garden more often, surprise somebody on their birthday with a party, do stuff...
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AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! |
posted by jim on 18/12/04
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Technically there’s five and a half shopping days left till Christmas: realistically I don’t like shopping on Sundays so that’s four and a half, Monday I’m going to visit my Mum, three and a half, Tuesday I’m recording a session for Virgin Radio, Christmas Eve I don’t like shopping. Which leaves me a day and a half to buy some more presents, in fact just the one day because ‘39 Steps’ with Robert Doughnuts is on the telly this afternoon.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS
My rough review of the cultural year in a top five format:
Top Five Albums
1. The Libertines – The Libertines
2. Nick Cave – Abattoir Blues/The Lyre Of Orpheus
3. The Killers – Hot Fuss
4. The Streets – A Grand Don't Come For Free
5. Badly Drawn Boy - One plus One Is One
Bands/Acts
1. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
2. The Libertines
3. Chris T-T
4. The Killers
5. Art Brut
Gigs (I only really went to one if you exclude friends’ gigs, I’m very very old)
1. Nick Cave @ Brixton Academy
2. Mister Spoons (Gary Numan tribute act) @ Aberdeen Dr Drakes
Songs Of The Year
1. Can't Stand Me Now – The Libertines
2. Year of The Rat – Badly Drawn Boy
3. Dry Your Eyes – The Streets
4. Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine - The Killers
5. There She Goes, My Beautiful World – Nick Cave
TV Programmes of The Year
1. Peep Show
2. Grass
3. Q.I.
4. Without A Trace
5. Dirty Filthy Love
Films Of The Year
1. The Incredibles
2. Lost In Translation
3. Bartleby
4. School of Rock
5. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Books Of The Year
1. Douglas Coupland – Eleanor Rigby
2. Mark Haddon – The Curious Incident Of The Dog
3. Chuck Palahniuk – Diary
4. Robert Newman – The Fountain At the Centre Of The World
5. Max Barry – Jennifer Government
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PORTSMOUTH, CAMBRIDGE AND LONDON TOWN |
posted by jim on 3/12/04
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Spent a couple of days whipping myself into shape, press-ups and sit-ups, 10 mile morning runs, floatation tanks, meditation, yoga, primal screaming and such like. Ready for action and a gig at a student bar in Cambridge, best gig of the tour so far perhaps, feeling good, stayed in a capsule hotel, it felt like Amsterdam without the drug bores and stag weekenders.
Next day Portsmouth, Edge of the Wedge(wood Rooms): a free gig with a guest list, it was a bit like an office Christmas party before I started playing. I read one section of my book for 17 minutes, a new book reading onstage record. Lots of songs, played for bloody hours, striped cocktails, nice staff, no Doug Hedges, who is Doug Hedges?, Best gig of the tour.
London: does storming off stage, throwing your guitar on the floor, kicking a wall and a door and headbutting another door mean it was a good gig or a bad gig? If everyone says the gig was great and I hated it was it good? If a tree falls in a forest and there’s nobody there etc…
I hate technical problems, the sound on stage was the worst of my short solo career and I struggled to play and sing with any confidence. It started with a buggered up intro tape and ended with a premature balloon drop. With hindsight I think the rows of seats gig is not the best place to see me perform. Random chairs and tables, some people standing = good. Everyone in rows = not so. I woke up this morning with less idea of what to do with my life than at any time since I was a depressed teenager. All suggestions should be posted on the jim bob forum, perhaps under a heading of ‘what I think Jim Bob should do next’.
Thank you to everyone for coming to the gigs, buying stuff and putting up with my rambling, meandering, bad guitaring and door headbutting.
Special nod to Team Jim Bobbers Marc and Neil.
As Arnold S once said, “I’ll be back.”
(And look where he ended up.)
SONGS PLAYED ON THE TOUR
COME ON SMART BOMB
VICTIM
BILLY’S SMART CIRCUS
ALL AMERICAN NATIONAL SPORT
RENT
ALWAYS THE BRIDESMAID
TONGUE TIED
RAY OF LIGHT
A WORLD WITHOUT DAVE
BORN ON THE 5TH OF NOVEMBER
BACHELOR FOR BADEN POWELL
GEORGIE’S MARVELLOUS MEDICINE
BAD DAY
WHEN YOU’RE GONE
REVENGE OF THE SCHOOL BULLIED
BIG FLASH CAR
CANDY FLOSS
FERAL KIDS
THE ONLY LIVING BOY IN NEW CROSS
TRAVIS
JOHNNY CASH
GLAM ROCK COPS
YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU
SHOPPERS’ PARADISE
A NATION OF SHOPLIFTERS
ANGELSTRIKE!
HER SONG
SHERIFF FATMAN
TOUCHY FEELY
CLOSURE
CHILDRENS’ TERRORISM
AFTER THE WATERSHED
PRINCE IN A PAUPER’S GRAVE
GI BLUES
55 CARDS
SOULMATES
COMMON PEOPLE
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TOUR PART ONE |
posted by jim on 28/11/04
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I’m never sure what level of honesty to apply to this thing. Brutal? The truth the whole truth and nothing but? Boyband bullshit?
I am my harshest critic, and that’s saying something because some people in the press would prefer it if I was dead. So I apologise for any misery in the following guff, I’m writing it on a Sunday, my least favourite day of the week. Hollyoaks is on for too long, my Channel 5 reception is too wobbly to watch ‘Battle Of Britain’ and Monarch Of The Glen has seriously deteriorated since the first series. It’s the first non travelling day off and I’m holding an autopsy and they’re always a bit bloody and unpleasant, so if you’re of a nervous disposition, look away now.
The last UK tour was always going to be pretty difficult to top, there were so many extraordinary gigs, some of my favourite ever – and that includes Carter ones.
So: Sheffield Boardwalk, I think I chose the wrong set of songs and as a result I felt I was losing people a bit in the middle. The reading wasn’t as good as it was in May, perhaps because I felt I was repeating myself and in desperately trying to avoid doing so I decided to read bits from the book I’d not read before – with hindsight not maybe the best stuff for a live reading. Sorry, my fault, I’ll sort it out before Glasgow. We had a long Team Jim Bob discussion/argument deep into the night about the setlist and came up with a better one. King Tut’s I’m afraid was not as intense as the ridiculously packed and just painted 13th Note, so it was harder work. There was football on to keep people away and Mull Historical Society gigs in town as well. Don’t get me wrong, both Sheffield and Glasgow were fantastic, it’s just after last time, anyone who was at the previous Sheff and Glas gigs will know they were a fucking riot.
My girlfriend and daughter have narrowly missed a drive by shooting, I hate guns and violent people, why can’t they just shoot themselves and leave the rest of us alone.
Birmingham, I played two sets as there was no support, it was quiet at first, mainly because of the school hall seating arrangement but came together and turned into a fandabidosi evening. We did however have a spot of trub with getting paid, which left me feeling like a shit busker who just started playing the guitar about a week ago. More news on this soon.
Hartlepool was a struggle, too much talking, not enough new songs, who wants to hear some bloke reading a book anyway. The supports were fantastic and Keith Burton was perhaps too funny for me to follow him with a load of songs about getting mugged, war, pestilence, etc. Lovely promoter called Wayne.
The next three shows will be totally and utterly brilliant. I will make absolutely sure of this. I’m going to play them like my life depends on it. Cheer up Jim you miserable sod. My fingers are hurting.
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STICKS AND STONES |
posted by jim on 21/11/04
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'The Revenge Of The School Bullied' from Angelstrike! was reviewed on BBC 6 Music the other day by Mari Wilson (80s star/big hair), some bloke from Rough Trade and the editor of Word magazine.
For anyone who didn't hear it, the general opinion was that Carter were rubbish and therefore so is my new album. I think listening to it was fairly pointless. I do hate it when people say things aren't their cup of tea though, what does that mean exactly? What's your cup of tea? Mine is Tickety Boo Tea, with Billy Connolly on the box and profits going to charity. Although I do generally drink coffee, unless I'm round at Fruitbat's house where I usually have PG Tips.
Anyway, it's nice to still be judged on my ridiculous haircut and big shorts, I really must get some long trousers and a date with my barber.
It doesn't really matter of course, Andrew Collins likes the album – he' s recommended 'My Face Your Arse' in this month's Word mag and reviews the album in next month's edition. And as long as it's being played on the radio I don't care what people are saying about it afterwards.
Which of course I do, because I'm pretty sensitive and for me I'm afraid words hurt just as much as sticks. And indeed stones.
I should be appearing on the show myself soon and hereby swear I shall not refer to any record as not my cup of tea. In fact I herby further swear to try and slot in the all new breakfast drink related phrase: "I like that song, it's my cup of tea."
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