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SID VICIOUS DOES HIS ACCOUNTS |
posted by jim on 28/05/05
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After the fantastic success and Everestian high of last Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I decided to bring myself back down to earth by spending this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday doing my accounts. This is the single most tedious and un-looked forward to task of my year and not rock ‘n’ roll at all. I can’t imagine Sid Vicious getting all his receipts and invoices together and going through his bank statements and entering all the information onto spreadsheets (is that what they call them). I can’t picture Keef Richards tapping percentages into his calculator, Cliff Richards yes, Keef no.
To make matters a bit worse I’ve got a cold and the entire neighbourhood seems to be on some sort of DIY hammerthon, bang bang rock ‘n’ roll.
On Friday I went to BBC 6 Music, where would I be without that radio station. I was reviewing singles on the Roundtable programme http://www.recycleannarbor.org/images/reuse/cc/merchandise/9-20-04/roundtable-lg.jpg with Steve Lamacq, Annie Nightingale http://www.mulletboyrecords.com/images/Wicked/Annie2.jpg and Marc – my manager – lookalike Paul Kaye. This was the perfect opportunity to test my doppelganger theories and so I asked Paul Kaye do you think you look like Marc my manager and he said no. He was wrong of course, it was like being stood in a room with twin brothers and then they started talking about Arsenal and it was all getting a bit Fight Club and strange. http://www.wallpaper-area.de/wallpaper/11/459/Fight_Club_020.jpg
I didn’t want to slag the records off on the show because I know what that’s like and tried my best but by about the third one I was doing just that, I couldn’t stop myself. It was the lyrics mainly. Looking at the printed bios of the bands and singers we were reviewing I noticed they were all appearing on Jools Holland and couldn’t help thinking why the cock aren’t I. After the programme we went to the pub for a swift two, Paul Kaye didn’t come but that didn’t matter because Marc was there. Annie Nightingale came along, I like Annie Nightingale, somebody else I couldn’t imagine doing her accounts, we met years ago at the New Cross Venue where I think Carter were appearing under the name Billy Boy & The Bananas or something like that. http://www.rbcu.ru/campaign/nightingale/nightingale.jpg
Before the show I took a stroll around the West End, this is something I seem to do every hottest day of the year. I took a jacket with me because the weather forecast was hot, really hot, boiling hot, but with the chance of thunderstorms. I carried my jacket up to the West End, around the West End and home again in the evening. It didn’t rain.
I bought three for £20 DVDs ( Dodge Ball, Monster and Alien) in HMV and had a coffee and an Oragina in a Café Nero. Being the hottest day of the year the ice machine was broken, this happens every hottest day of the year.
I give myself 7 out of 10.
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PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL |
posted by jim on 20/05/05
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I feel unusual today, like I’ve just come out the recovery side of a strange illness. The fingernails of my right hand are cracked and split from the strumming and my left hand fingertips are sore and tender and yet as hard as the new floor of a Hoxton studio apartment. My mind is a casserole. There’s half a veggie delight Subway sandwich in my fridge.
Three nights at the Water Rats Theatre, phew what a week that was. All the wonderful singalongs, the patience for the newer songs and the party that was the Jim’s Super Stereoworld set. We have a saying at Team Jim Bob: ‘never return to the scene of the crime’. After a gig and a night’s sleep we tend to leave town as soon as possible, just in case we upset anybody the night before or put in a rubbish performance or drew a tiny crowd. Returning to the Water Rats on the Wednesday and seeing so many of the same faces was like going back to another party in the same place the following day with the same guests, Groundhog Day. Except now everyone was perhaps a bit hungover and sheepish, regretting having bared their arse the previous evening or wishing they hadn’t got into that argument with the barmaid about the price of a beer (£3). Tuesday was so extraordinarily good I couldn’t see how Wednesday stood a chance, but the debut appearance of Fruitbat’s iDou added an extra bit of special and kicked off another superb night. Thursday was of course the return of Jim’s Super Stereoworld, the best fun I’ve had with my clothes on (pink Hawain, white tie, Poundland glasses, Cuban cigar) for some time. Now the questions, more Stereoworld gigs? What next? Today as usual I have no idea, I’m going to see Jimmy Webb in Hammersmith tonight and I’ll forget about it till tomorrow, mull things over over the weekend, see what the cat licks on a flagpole or something like that.
A wonderful week, thank you if you came along or wish you had, I think people might be talking about it for a while to come, it really did feel that special. Bloomsbury demons driven out. Job’s a good ‘un.
TUESDAY SET
101 DAMNATIONS POST HISTORIC MONSTERS ANGELSTRIKE!
SOULMATES SPOILSPORTS PERSONALITY CHURCHBELL
PECKHAM 123 SMART BOMB! VICTIM SCHOOL BULLIED
24 MINUTES FROM TULSE HILL LENNY & TERENCE
SING FAT LADY DUMB AND DUMBER OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE TONGUE TIED CHARLIE BROWN
CHILDREN'S TERRORISM WORKSHOP GEORGIE'S MARV MED
SUICIDE ISN'T PAINLESS UNDER THE THUMB
THE HIPPIES WERE RIGHT THE MUSIC THAT NOBODY LIKES
ANGELSTRIKE! FATMAN GI BLUES
WEDNESDAY SET
30 SOMETHING, WORRY BOMB, GOODNIGHT JIM B & J.R.
SURFIN' USM COOL SECOND TO LAST WILL
CHEAP 'N' CHEESY GOOD HAIR DAY IN THE FUTURE
LET'S GET TATTOOS YOUNG OFFENDER’S
NEW MAN IN THE MORNING DEFEATIST ATTITUDE
GLASGOW KISS CRUEL A TIME TO KILL
SENILE DELINQUENT YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU
SHOPPERS' PARADISE THE ONLY LOONEY LEFT ONE TOO MANY
SAY IT WITH FLOWERS CEASEFIRE
A PRINCE IN A PAUPER'S ANYTIME ANYPLACE
SO LONG FAREWELL EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT BLOODSPORT FALLING ON A BRUISE THE FINAL COMEDOWN
THURSDAY SET
1992 THE LOVE ALBUM, A WORLD WITHOUT DAVE
ENGLAND IS WRESTLING FIXED?
A WORLD WITHOUT DAVE AND GOD CREATED BRIXTON
SUPPOSE U GAVE A FUNERAL WHILE YOU WERE OUT
NOWHERE FAST LOOK MUM, NO HANDS!
SKYWEST AND CROOKED THE ONLY LIVING BOY IN NC
DO RE ME, SO FAR SO GOOD IMPOSSIBLE DREAM
JIM’S SUPER STEREOWORLD
CANDY FLOSS HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE BUBBLEGUM
YOU’RE MY MATE BONKERS IN THE NUT
HEADS WILL ROCK YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF FUN
WHEN YOU’RE GONE PSRTS 1 & 2 A BAD DAY
MY NAME IS JOHN BIG FLASH CAR JIM’S MOBILE DISCO
COULD U B THE 1 TOUCHY FEELY PARTYWORLD
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THE EASYJETSET |
posted by jim on 15/05/05
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If you can remember the seventies then you weren’t there, that’s what they say isn’t it. I’m having trouble remembering this past week, does that mean I wasn’t there. Were Marc and Mr. Spoons travelling up and down the country talking about football and what they would or wouldn’t do for a million pounds in vain. Should I be using question marks? Are these questions hypothetical.
I’m consulting my Simpsons calendar, which tells me today is Debra Winger’s birthday http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=debra+winger and also the day that Betty Carter the unstoppable sex machine http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=betty+carter&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi was born back in 1930.
My Simpson’s calendar also reminds me of a few salient facts: Monday the 9th I was in a man named Carl’s house in Brighouse West Yorkshire, performing for 80 minutes (my manager times everything) to around thirty people in his front room. Carl bought me on ebay, it was a strange experience but enjoyable, the house was lovely as were the biscuits and the guests and so on, we filmed a bit of it for my future DVD release so you can see some of what went on then, including my fantastic goal scored against a small boy. The train journey there was slow – British railway slow – we missed our connection at Wakefield and had to wait for an hour. During that Wakefield hour we noticed a teenager with a canvas bag with the words CARTER USM written on in biro. I thought he must be too young to be a fan of anything I’d been involved in but I think I was wrong, he walked past us a couple of times and gave us sideways looks. I wish I’d spoken to him and who knows, maybe he feels likewise.
Tuesday was Bristol, Carter’s very first fan Scott was there. I haven’t seen him for years, he’s now a tour manager and roadie for big bands and it was good to see him again. The gig was two forty five minute sets of dumb jokes and repartee with a few songs thrown in. The drunk entertaining bloke who was there last time was there again and fell asleep before the second set again, it’s nice to know there are still things we can rely on this world. Had a late night Italian (ooer) and went to bed (ooer). Next day Birmingham – Bob Marley day in Jamaica.
Because I felt somehow disappointed by some of the last tour we decided to go back to the venues that we’d enjoyed on the tour before the last. Hence Tuesday was Birmingham Bar Academy, played 32 songs but not Dumb And Dumber, my new single http://www.carterusm.co.uk/shop.html that I’m supposed to be promoting, I’m rubbish. In two days we’ll run out of copies of the single that I’m supposed to be promoting because I didn’t put enough copies in the car at the start of the week. On BBC Radio Leeds I’ll perform the song and won’t be able to reach the notes on the chorus and leave the studio with a red face.
Leeds Joseph’s Well was also one of the venues we’d known and loved before so we went back there as well. And also Glasgow 13th Note on Friday the 13th, under a ladder on a stage covered in spilt salt. All good gigs, great audiences, wonderful singalongs, hooray etc.
Other stuff: we ate a lot of sweets and chocolate in the car, we went to greasy spoons with Mr Spoons in Kendal http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=kendal+mint+cake&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi and Pershore. It’s so strange to be served friendlyly (my new word for the day) I miss such quaint provincial peculiarities in London, going away makes me want to move house.
MENU
We had noodles in Glasgow, Jaffa Cakes in West Yorkshire, pizza in Bristol, Burgers in Birmingham, more pizza in Leeds, gin and tonic all over the place. We stayed in identical hotel rooms everywhere we went. We listened to our individually compiled compilations in the car. We heard The Jam, Elvis Costello, Bowie, Denim, Razorlight, embarrassing hits of the 70’s and 80’s and Neil’s Australian artist collection and I’m not talking about Rolf Harris
Monsieur Cuillères stayed in Scotland for football and hill walking while me and Marcus T easy-jetted it back to London
The rest is a blur.
Next stop JSSW rehearsals and those Water Rats gigs.
Looking forward to seeing the debut of Fruitbat’s new project iDOU me, Neil and Marc have formed a rival act called JIMP3.
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BERLIN TAKES MY BREATH AWAY (AGAIN) |
posted by jim on 9/05/05
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Couldn’t stay for the weekend VE Day riots to throw stuff at the neo nazis but did have a great time in Berlin. The gig was in an old theatre, a good crowd, I’d like to think I played both my little hearts out – not the new Doctor Who but the real Doctor Who – We started filming what is hoped will be a short ill conceived documentary to go with my live DVD. The short doc is titled ‘Team Jim Bob – We’ve Gone On Holiday By Mistake’ and is being directed by – I don’t know if you’ve heard of him – Marc Ollington, it’s his first movie but we have high hopes of him and expect one or two Oscars. The day before the gig we climbed halfway up the Victory Tower http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=victory+tower+berlin&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi and once we were there we thought we might as well finish the job. My legs are still smarting from the sixty million spiral steps to the summit and I’m getting a touch of vertigo just reminiscing about it. Chris T-T http://duckyfuzz.tripod.com/ was with us and we all missed the gen-elec together in a bar in Berlin. I know it was impossible in so many ways but I did have to imagine what would it have been like to go to Germany for a couple of days and then come back home to find that Veritas had won the election and Robert Kilroy Silk was Prime Minister.
Back in London I rehearsed on Sunday with Jim’s Super Stereoworld, it was as though we had never stopped. The only howling mistakes were when Pete Allinson The Third mistimed a couple of cigarette breaks. Pete had a spectacular hangover, he’d been so drunk at The Groucho Club http://www.thegrouchoclub.com/ that he had to leave before Pete Doherty did one of his impromptu gigs. That’s what I call a shoe being on the other foot situation, for once Pete D stays for the gig while Pete A is too shit faced to go through with it. Call the Daily Mirror.
In a minute I’m going North to Carl’s back garden gig, hope it goes well. People have said what’s it like to play to 60,000 people it must be terrifying but twenty or thirty people in a garden is a hell of a lot scarier, funny isn’t it.
Shit, I’m gonna be late better go.
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DOCTOR DOCTOR CAN'T YOU HEAR ME CALLING CALLING |
posted by jim on 3/05/05
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A man goes into the doctor’s, “Doctor doctor, I’ve got this muffled ear thing, I’m a singer and it affects the quality of my performance.” “Singer eh? In a band eh?” The doctor says, like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. And he’s pretty much already decided it’s a self-inflicted injury and I didn’t get much chance to explain that these days it was more of a solo acoustic thing and not a band at all, more Ralph McTell than Slipknot, more Katie Melua than Motorhead, because he’s already started to fob me off (ooer). And he’s talking about noise induced hearing loss and he stinks of cigarettes and I want to talk back about cigarette induced cancer, but it’s too late. I’ve got my prescription to squirt stuff up my bugle and I get the bus home. In three months I’ll get another go. He also asked me if I shot, and I presumed he meant heroin or something and said no and then he said, “D.I.Y?” and I was still thinking of class A drug use and said no. Perhaps I should have mentioned that I did some wallpapering a couple of years ago. When I say doctor I mean consultant by the way, those dudes are always thought of as a bit arrogant, they’re always portrayed that way in the hospital based TV shows, which must be based on a certain amount of truth I suppose. If consultants are a bit hoity toity I think it’s because they don’t have to wear uniforms, no white coats for them, every day is non-uniform day for the consultants, every day is mufty day.
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THE TITANIC |
posted by jim on 1/05/05
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It’s when I do this I realise how little of my time I fill with anything worth writing about, I waste so much of my life on Earth.
The gig at The Pleasure Unit ‘Festival of Loud and Quiet’ was a rare trip to the East End for me, it was four in the afternoon and a robbery had just taken place at the chicken shop opposite the venue. About six police cars were at the crime scene and while waiting for my girlfriend to return from the sweetshop with change for the parking machine I saw two blokes taken away in handcuffs, no point or moral to this story, just thought it might spice it up a bit.
Strange gig, the bright sunshine coming through the windows made for an unusual atmos, Kate Winslett’s dad was playing when I arrived, his band http://www.bidgiereef.com were a bit like Ian Dury meets The Pet Shop Boys, they were one of the ‘quiet’ elements of the day. I might have renamed it the ‘Festival of Loud and Quiet and Really Fucking Loud ’ so as to include the DJs.
I think I played ok, people seemed to like it, apart from some of the audience – perhaps some of the younger dudes – who seemed to make a dash for the door as soon as I was about to take to the stage. I was reminded of the time that Jamie Wednesday played a gig at the Rough Trade shop and Alan McGee made a point of standing outside as a protest to us being there.
Big Tim McGill was present with his big new beard. He has since been gradually shaving it off and sending me email pictures of the process. One day it’s Billy Connolly, the next day Don Quixote and Rembrandt etc. He was last seen as Captain Webb – a handlebar moustachioed man but I’m not quite sure who he is.
Noel Gallagher was kind enough to give Carter USM a mench in his NME interview, I couldn’t say for sure whether he was having a go or not, I suspect he was though. I think what’s clear by his comment and also the placing of it at the end of the interview tells us more about the NME than it does about Oasis. All this time and they still can’t get over us, they should seek therapy (not the band) and move on.
Went to another party, this one was on a moored boat on the Thames. It looks a lot more like the Titanic in its photos on the interweb than it does in real life http://www.hmspresident.com although it did have one thing in common with the Titanic, in that I don’t think it could ever call itself unsinkable.
The party was for a friend’s 40th birthday, he’s an agent for the Darkness, by which I don’t mean he works for Satan http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=satan&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi but the high-pitched vocalled rock group
http://www.thedarknessrock.com They were there, as were some of my old acquaintances from my days in the music biz. I had a chat with Morgan from The Senseless Things, now with Gorrilaz and recently Muse, Morgan is a nice bloke, unaffected by hanging out with some of the most famous people in what boybands call ‘the industry’.
I felt a bit left out, I knew quite a few people at the party but nobody recognises me these days, so didn’t talk to anybody. I might get the fringe back, just for social occasions. I was reading an interview with Roddy Frame http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=roddy+frame&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi ex of Aztec Camera, I think we have a lot in common, being relatively successful in a small way and existing off the radar, as the interviewer put it. Like Roddy I’m happy with the way things are but sometimes crave fame’s fickle and filthy fingering.
Sneaked off the boat before it sank into the mud of Vicky Embankment and took a black taxi – the slowest black taxi in the universe – home, it cost thirty pounds. On the journey home the streets seemed to be packed with potential trouble and I wished I lived in a hut somewhere Nordic.
The onboard boat bar by the way was selling Becks at £3.20 a bottle, frightening for somebody who drinks more often in Wetherspoons pubs and is practically a Yorkshireman when buying a drink at a London bar. “Two pounds?? For a pint?!?” that sort of thing.
Busy month approaching.
Don’t know what to wear.
http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=trinny+and+susanna
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My new guitar |
posted by jim on 23/04/05
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Happy birthday William Shakespeare.
Happy St. George’s Day, the campaign for something celebratory to happen on this particular day might be helped if the BNP didn’t choose to announce their manifesto – or The Daily Mail as it’s sometimes called – today.
I did it, I overcame my inner terror and bought a new guitar, it’s the most money I’ve spent on anything for some time. It was a lot less painless than I’d thought it might be, the bloke who served me was friendly and helpful, thanks also to Big Tim McGill for his help. Carrying my new guitar through the crowds of Oxford Street shoppers, pickpockets and chuggers made me nervous though, trying to avoid a group of Dutch tourists walking into me and snapping the neck off or somebody snatching my guitar from my hands before I got to use it. On my walk along Oxford Street I met Chris Chinchilla from Art Brut: http://artbrut.nikkidido.com/ and also saw Alan Yentob http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=alan+yentob&ie=ISO-8859-1&hl=en
I’ve sold myself for twelve hundred quid on E-bay to a man named Carl in West Yorkshire, he’s got a lovely house and I’m looking forward to the gig in his back garden.
Tonight – or this afternoon – I’m playing a set at The Pleasure Unit in Bethnal Green for the Tsunami charity, my first date with my new guitar, I hope it doesn’t explode.
More soon.
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MONORAIL...MONORAIL... |
posted by jim on 18/04/05
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APRIL 18 2005
Happy birthday Conan O’Brien, he wrote the Marge Vs The Monorail episode of The Simpsons which is one of my favourite Simpson eps. I might have said before but it’s birthday season round here, I went to a friend’s 50th party in Thornton Heath on Saturday, some of my family who I see way too little of were there, as was Les Bat who gave me a pair of shoes. People have been giving me a lot of free clobber recently, which is brilliant as I’m rubbish at shopping. I have a fear of looking shop assistants in the eye. When I was in the charts and on TV I could never buy records or clothes comfortably because I always thought that as soon as I’d paid and left, the people behind the counter would be saying to each other, “That was that bloke from Carter, he just bought a Take That album.” Not realising that I was perhaps buying it as a Christmas present for a small child or a gay friend. One of my friends works at HMV and I have since found out that the staff in record shops do indeed notice celebs and discuss their musical tastes, so my fears were not entirely baseless. It was much the same with clothes, I tend to shop where old men shop, in a sort of anti-fashion/old men are cool type of combination theory, places where I’m served by little old ladies who don’t know or care who I used to be. I’ve never really shaken this retail phobia off and so any free clothes are much appreciated, imagine my delight to see that the current highest bidder for my house gig on e-bay appears to be someone with a clothes shop, bingo.
On that subject, bids are over a thousand quid now for me to come round your house and sing a few songs and eat your biscuits. Who will it be and where? What biscuits? Etc.
I’m a big fan of Paula Radcliffe but I can’t help thinking that stopping for a piss during a race watched by millions might have been a mistake. I was late for my appearance on Andrew Collins’ show on the radio http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/andrew_collins/
because the buses were diverted around the London Marathon, the bus driver wouldn’t let me off because there were technically no bus stops for that particular route. I wasn’t too late though and got to discuss my spare time with Andrew, I don’t have a lot of hobbies, which considering how much free and spare time I have is a bit ungrateful of me. I talked about my toy collection and – not learning from Ken Livingstone’s Evening Standard error – I almost compared Alan Sugar to Hitler. The Hitler analogy has always been my comedy argument winner.
Things in Jim Bob world are going pretty well at the moment, the Dumber single has been on the radio a few times, the tour is selling well and people are offering me things instead of me begging for them for a change. I may have to buy a new guitar as my old one is falling apart and is buzzing like bees. Which brings me back to my retail fear and my biggest of all: music shops. Here’s how it works, I walk into a music shop, there probably aren’t any other customers there, just three shop assistants who are sitting around playing guitars and talking shop, they are all better guitarists than I’ll ever be and I don’t know any fancy riffs so it’s a bit embarrassing to have to sit there and strum in my ham fisted way in front of them. This is of course after they’ve stopped ignoring me completely, which is something people who work in guitar shops like to do. I know they probably just hate me because I’ve been on Top Of The Pops and play like a shaved monkey with boxing gloves on, while they play like Eric Clapton and Carlos Santana and yet have to work in a shop. I realise this is lazy stereotyping and I apologise. If anyone owns a guitar shop and wants to give me a brilliant acoustic guitar without me having to try it on in front of them then yes please that would be nice.
Watched bits of Channel 4’s top 100 albums of all time programme, who chose this order for God’s sake. Are Oasis and The Verve and Alanis Morrisette really better than The Beach Boys, is there any point to these endless lists, I speak as a fan of lists.
TV: Casanova, Derren Brown
Film: Finding Neverland
Over and out.
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BIRTHS DEATHS AND MARRIAGES |
posted by jim on 10/04/05
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Nothing happening really just thought I should check in.
The Pope died, I guess you noticed and Prince Charles got married. My favourite bit of the wedding was seeing the Royals get onboard coaches for the first time in their lives, they looked so excited, like kids at Alton Towers or Disneyland.
I haven’t been to a wedding for some time, I like a wedding. I have however been invited to a surprising number of birthday parties in the coming month or so. Everyone’s hitting forty and fifty and a couple of my younger friends are thirty. I’ve been invited to a birthday at a bowling alley and on a ship on the Thames.
The Mean Fiddler has been taken over by Clear Channel, without wishing to bite too deeply into the hand that will probably feed me at some point, oh my God. Does this mean Ronan Keating to headline Reading Festival and George Bush checking for lyrics that might mention Charles Darwin. IMAX cinemas have already stopped the showing of scientific related films in the US and they’re owned by some Clear Channel affiliate. If that’s not true don’t blame me I hear things and they get shuffled sometimes.
Music: More Bright Eyes I’m afraid, Beck (I hate it when people say, ‘a return to form..’ I heard the DJ in inverted commas in a record shop say that Beck’s new album was a return to form, the form of Odelay. The implication is that his stuff in between was rubbish, which is just so patently untrue.)
Books: Just started ‘Fullalove’ by some dude called Gordon Burn, don’t know what it’s about yet, I hope Gordon hurrys up and tells me a bit soon.
Film: I’m going to watch ‘Finding Neverland’ tonight, I’m a big Johnny Depp fan, I’m not gay but if I was etc…
And on that bombshell.
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COME OUTSIDE |
posted by jim on 23/03/05
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How do people do these relentless day after day blogs, not enough happens in my day to day to justify such self importance. I’ve got Razorlight’s album on at the moment, I really like this LP, I think it’s almost conceptual, as individual songs it maybe doesn’t cut as much of the mustard but as an entity in itself it’s effing superb. Not as good as Bright Eyes’ ‘I’m Wide awake It’s Morning’ though, which has at least for a while changed my life, expect plagiarism in the near future, we’ve already got the same haircut and I believe he used to go out with Winona Ryder and I used to fancy her.
Finally starting to remind myself of how some of my old songs go, in preparation for the May dates. In doing so I’ve realised what a great bunch of songs there are on the ‘J.R.’ album, why wasn’t that number one in every country?
I’ve been watching ‘The Games in training’ programme on Channel 4 at elevenish pm, it’s my favourite reality type celebrity show, it seems to have a point to it, they practice something, get good at it and then have a competition. No voting out or slagging each other off. Unlike that Coach Trip programme I’ve caught a bit of in the morning, what the fuck do we need with another programme encouraging stupid English stereotypes abroad for. Likewise that Apprentice programme, that Alan Sugar dude is a cock. Pointless, pointless nasty rubbish.
The sun came out and brought with it the noise of the neighbours. What’s wrong with talking to your family, why shout. I hate whoever invented the car stereo bass bin.
Along with the sunshine and the noisy neighbours comes the usual skin cancer scare. Any hope at enjoying the sunshine is buggered. Stay in, read a book. Go pale.
Apparently Prince William and Tom Parker Bowles will be witnesses to the royal marriage, Clarence House says, I don’t care. Who is this Clarence House dude? I think I might change my name to Clarence House. Hey there’s a thing, I might change my name for an album, that’s always good for a laugh.
Not many people in Britain know what Easter is. It’s Chocolate time isn’t it. Something to do with a big rabbit, some tiny yellow chicks and World War II P.O.W. escape movies.
If these things sometimes appear a bit miserable and self indulgent it’s probably because true to the old cliché, whenever I’m enjoying myself I’m too busy enjoying myself to write about it.
Good afternoon.
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