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April Fools' Day |
posted by jim on 1/04/12
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I was the first child. Born on April Fools Day, two years before my sister Robin - the Girl Wonder. I’d soon grow to dread my birthday. Why couldn’t my mother have held on a day longer, kept her legs crossed for just 24 more hours? Every year Dad would pretend he’d forgotten my birthday again. Right up until after noon, when the day of practical joking was officially over and he could finally bring my presents out of hiding. Presents that would frequently include some fake dogshit, a plastic spider or a tiny empty box wrapped up in yards and yards of wrapping paper.
Birthday breakfast would be a plate of rubber bacon and eggs or a blue mouth sweet or stick of cardboard chewing gum on a spring that would almost snap my finger off when I took it from my wise-cracking father. Then I’d get to spend the rest of the day trying to blow out the novelty candles on my birthday cake, Dad laughing till he cried as they went out and reignited over and over. When I reached my teens I tried staying awake as late as possible the night before my birthday, in the hope that I’d be so tired that I wouldn’t wake until the foolproof safety of the afternoon. The second year that I tried this, I awoke at midday to find that my dad had sneaked into my room in the middle of the night and sewn my bed sheets together.
From Storage Stories
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TEAM JIM BOB ELEVEN TENS |
posted by jim on 21/12/11
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Every year we at Team Jim bob post lists of our favourite things of the year. Here they are.
JIM BOB
Films
1. Submarine
2. Attack the Block
3. Animal Kingdom
4. The Town
5. 127 Hours
6. Never Let Me Go
7. True Grit
8. Another Year
9. Source Code
Books
1. The Lonely Polygamist – Brady Udall
2. The Strain Trilogy – Guillermo del Toro, Chuck Hogan
3. I Alan Partridge, We Need to Talk About Alan – Alan Partridge (audio book)
4. Bed – David Whitehouse
5. The Damned – Chuck Palahniuk
6. The Psychopath Test – Jon Ronson
7. Wild Abandon – Joe Dunthorne
8. Moonlight Mile – Dennis Lehane
9. Comedy and Error – Simon Day
10. Boxer Beetle – Ned Beauman
TV
Rev
Modern Family
The Shadow Line
The Fades
Big Bang Theory
Educating Essex
Would I Lie to You?
Appropriate Adult
The Killing
Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle
Radio
Adam and Joe on 6 Music
Mr Blue Sky on Radio 4
Andrew Collins & Josie Long on 6 Music
Music
1. Withered Hand – Good News
2. Caitlin Rose – Own Side Now
3. Akira the Don
4. Laura Marling – A Creature I Don’t Know
5. Scroobius Pip – Distraction Pieces
6. Tom Waits – Bad as Me
7. The Hazards of Love – Decemberists
8. Chris T-T – Disobedience, Chris T-T Sings AA Milne
9. Video Games – Lana Del Rey
Comedy/other
Los Quattros Cvnts – The Phoenix
Psister Psycho – Leicester Square Theatre
Karaoke Circus – Edinburgh Pleasance
Bad Musical – Soho Theatre
Isy Suttie Pearl & Dave – Edinburgh Pleasance
Tony Law – End of the Road Festival
Michael Legge – Curse Sir Walter Raleigh, The Phoenix, London
Robin Ince & Michael Legge inPointless Anger, Righteous Ire 2: Back in the Habit – Edinburgh
Music Gigs
1. Caitlin Rose – Brixton Windmill
2. Bright Eyes – Royal Albert Hall
3. Laura Marling – Central Hall Westminster
4. Chris T-T – Disobedience – Edinburgh Free Fringe
5. Eels – Somerset House
6. Clinton USM – Brixton JAMM
7. Edenfest – Mr and Mrs Spoons' back garden
8. Echo and the Bunnymen – London Palladium
MARC – Jim Bob’s manager
Gigs/shows of the year
1. Carter - Brixton Academy, Beautiful Days, Manchester Academy & Edenfest
2. Bright Eyes - Royal Albert Hall
3. Jim Bob - Athens
4. Morrissey/Iggy Pop - Hop Farm
5. Suede (Dog Man Star) - Brixton Academy
6. Pop Will Eat Itself - Koko
7. Pulp - Hyde Park
8. Paul Heaton - Beautiful Days
9. 'Gutted' - Leicester Square Theatre
10. 'Shared' (Jim Bob, Miles Hunt) - Half Moon Putney
I think the above represents every gig I went to this year. I don't think just over one a month is too bad at my time of life.
Albums of the year
1. Bright Eyes - The Peoples Key
2. Akira The Don - The Life Equation
3. David Bowie - Toy (leaked this year)
4. British Sea Power - Valhalla Dancefloor
5. The Stroke - Angles
6. Akira The Don - Living In The Future
7. Pop Will Eat itself - New Noise Designed By Sadists
8. Lady Gaga - Born This Way
9. She & Him - A Very She & Him Christmas
10. Chris T-T -Songs of A.A. Milne
TV Programmes of the year
1. The Walking Dead
2. Dexter
3. This Is England ‘88
4. Sarah Jane Adventures
5. Stewart Lee's Comedy Vehicle
6. Coronation Street
7. Modern Family
8. Shooting Stars
9. Curb Your Enthusiasm (I'm still catching up)
10. American Horror Story
11. Torchwood – Miracle Day
12. Doctor Who (how have you made my favourite show of all time slip to this number Moffat?)
With regards to Reality TV this was the year I stopped watching The X Factors, Strictly Come Dancing (well, I half watch it as my wife has it on), Celebrity Masterchef, Masterchef The professionals and even Celebrity Big Brother. I did watch every 'I'm A Celeb' but that was a bit boring to be honest so I may eve give that a miss next year!
Most disappointed with: Lifes Too Short. I have adored EVERYTHING Ricky Gervais has done. I even think his films are brilliant (Ghost Town especially). This series is pretty rubbish though isn't it?
Looking forward to someone buying me The Shadow Line on DVD. Gutted to have missed it.
Books of the year (what I read rather than what came out)
1. The Lonely Polygamist - Brady Udall
2. Cat's Cradle - Kurt Vonnegut
3. I Alan Partridge, We Need to Talk About Alan – Alan Partridge (audio book)
4. Bed - Dave Whitehead
5. Nicholas Nickleby - Charles Dickens
6. Teenage Revolution - Alan Davies
7. How To Be A Woman - Caitlin Moran
8. Starman: David Bowie - Paul Trynka
9. Diary of A Rock n' Roll Star - Ian Hunter
10. The Complete David Bowie - Nick Pegg
11. The Eight Legged Atomic Dustbin Will Eat Itself (revised) - Martin Roach
12. David Bowie: The Man Who Sold The World: Pete Doggett
Films of the year
1. The Kings Speech 10/10
2. The Social Network 9/10
3. Bridesmaids (the only film I have seen at the cinema for 15 months. It’s a long story but I went with work colleagues as I had an advert running before the film and I wanted to see how it looked on the big screen) 8/1
4. Piranha 3D 5/10 (even though I only watched it in 2D)
5. Horrible Bosses 5/10
6. The Kids Are Alright 2/10
I genuinely have watched no other films this year. I can't quite believe it myself. Before Poppy was born Emma and I would go the cinema almost every week. I must watch more films and less telly next year.
Podcasts of the year
1. The Tuesday Club - Alan Davies
2. Desert Island Discs
3. The Guardian Football Weekly
4. Sunday Supplement
5. The Online Gooner
6. Kermode and Mayos film review
7. Radio Four Comedy of The Week
8. Arseblog
9. Footballistically Arsenal
10. Radio Free Skaro
MR SPOONS – Roadie, bubbler, etc
Gigs
1. Edenfest 2011: Carter USM/Chris T-T/Tim Ten Yen - yeah, yeah, I know I don't usually include any Jim & Les output in these annual reviews, but this was the best gig of my life. Ever. Absolutely no way I was going to overlook it here.
2. Pulp - Brixton Academy
3. Gary Numan/John Foxx - Troxy
4. Erasure - Brighton Dome
5. Franks & Sultans - Brixton Academy
6. Hop Farm on Saturday: Morrissey, Iggy Pop, Mary Coughlan
7. Darren Hanlon - 100 Club
8. GoGoBordello/PWEI - Beautiful Days
9. Arctic Monkeys/Vaccines - Dome
10. Clinton USM - Jamm
Films
1. Super 8
2. Attack the Block
3. Source Code
3. Social Network (was that really 2011?)
4. Rise of the Planet of The Apes (odd that they picked the worst of the original Apes films to reimagine, but a good effort nonetheless)
5. The Guard
Couldn't understand the fuss about The King's Speech personally...
Books
Book club disbanded early in the year after no-one could be arsed to read The Fry Chronicles, so that's me out...
TV
1. Doctor Who
2. The Sarah Jane Adventures (RIP lovely Liz)
3. The Shadow Line
4. True Blood
5. Torchwood: Miracle Day
6. Walking Dead
7. Agent Zig-Zag/Operation Mincemeat documentaries
8. Falling Skies
9. Frozen Planet
10. That thing with the bloke who played Gene Hunt in it... forgotten it's name
A dishonourable mention for the awfulness that is Death in Paradise, but somehow I can't seem to stop watching it as it plumbs deeper depths every episodes. Mrs Spoons's latest muse: Criminal Minds is also driving me to distraction.
Albums
1. Gary Numan - Dead Son Rising (magnificent return to form with essentially an album of out-takes - life is odd sometimes)
2. Akira the Don - The Life's Equation (Not usually my thing, but there is something wonderful about this)
3. Darren Hanlon - Butterfly Bones
4. Chris T-T - AA Milne
5. John Foxx & The Maths - Interplay
6. Erasure - Tomorrow's World
7. King Blues 2nd Album
8. Carus Thompson - Caravan
9. Tenek - EP2
10. Don't think it's out yet but expecting great tings from the Lana Del Rey album based on what I've heard so far.
Football Match of the Year:
Seaweed Hove Albion 1 CRYSTAL PALACE 3
Even beating the Mancs at the Theatre of Snores didn't come close to this...
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MOBILE LIBRARY |
posted by jim on 5/02/11
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On Fridays we’d go out after work and get as drunk as a hen night in Prague. One such night we got so drunk that we bought a mobile library.
When the government privatised the library service, the first things to go were the mobile libraries. You could find plenty for sale on the Internet auction sites. Or you could buy one from a man in a pub, like me and Carl did.
“An underpant-blue DAF Roadrunner van – no HGV required, tax and one year’s MOT – windows in the roof, power assisted steering. An H-reg, with a hand basin, working bog, less than 45,000 miles on the Hickory Dickory, and books, hundreds of books: Dickens, Shakespeare, Potter and The Rings,” the man in the pub said.
“We’ll take it.”
The fall of the public lending libraries had come when the public stopped borrowing from them, choosing instead to watch DVDs and play computer games. If the public really wanted to read books they could buy three in the shops and only have to pay for two of them. They could read the good bits online or edited and serialised in newspapers, or even via mobile phone text messages. Reading a whole book took too much time, too much commitment and concentration.
The books that were taken out of the library were usually returned overdue or unread and many more didn’t come back at all. Never give people something for nothing, because they’ll take it and they won’t give it back. Out of every ten books borrowed from the library, only nine were ever returned. The bookshelves were emptying and the library service was collapsing. Which was when Whitehall stepped in.
“Start competing or prepare your books for privatisation or pulping.” That’s the gist of what those idiots in Whitehall said.
The libraries tried their best to survive. Opening on Wednesdays, not closing for lunch, selling coffees and cakes, holding amnesties on overdue books and noisy days. They offered cheap Internet access and free email addresses for members. The libraries cleared their bookshelf space to make room for more and more videos and DVDs and computer games.
But all their sleeping with the enemy was in vain and the public library became the private library. Those that weren’t demolished were sold off to coffee and booze chains to be de-booked and reborn as library themed pubs and wine bars, places with names like The Paperback Writer and The Just Browse Inn. Novelty wine bars put up SILENCE PLEASE signs. Pubs employed whispering bespectacled bar staff.
We saw the introduction of the big out-of-town super libraries, where you could get a book out with your weekly shopping. People drove out to retail parks and to the 24–hour Tesco and Sainsbury’s libraries. They took the tube into the West End to visit the Virgin MegaLibrary® and the ultra trendy Texas Book Depository on the Kings Road. Traditionalists and stuck-in-the-muds complained about the Americanisation of the British library system. To prove them right, people turned up in their thousands to watch and cheer the biggest movie star in Hollywood declare “the American Airlines British Library, now open!”
And, like I said, perhaps because they were on wheels, the mobile libraries were the first to go.
Me and Carl bought ours from a man in a pub – stop me if you think I’m repeating myself – we bought an underpant-blue Leyland DAF Roadrunner van, no HGV required, with tax and MOT, roof windows, power assisted steering, a hand basin and a chemical toilet.
On the back of the pant-blue van there was a bumper sticker that didn’t say Horn broken. Watch for finger or I love cats, they taste just like chicken. Our bumper sticker was your library is your paradise. The man in the pub said, “It’s a quote from the Dutch Humanist Desiderius Erasmus. He was known as the Prince of the Humanists. I read it in a book. From my library. Which is now your library. Cheers!”
Every weekend me and Carl would join the front line in the war between the small community book lenders and the big multinational and corporate ones. A real David and Goliath battle. Like something out of one of the stories on the shelves in the back of our van. Stories like To Kill A Mockingbird or One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, or perhaps the heroic fairy tale of a small self-storage company taking on the might of a Big Yellow giant.
When me and Carl drove into town, AC/DC blasting out of our tinny old car stereo – like an ice cream van bringing 99s for the mind – people would rush out into the street to stop us and loan one.
Now, I don’t want to carpet stereotype the entire neighbourhood as illiterate Neanderthals, but I think some of the members of our library hadn’t read a lot of books before we drove into town. In our own little way, just like everybody said J K Rowling had done for schoolboys with her specky wizard books, Carl and me were getting people reading again. Putting something back was what we used to call it in the rock world.
Dickens, Shakespeare, Potter and The Rings were just the start of what our library had to offer. We lent people fat books, thin books, oversized and large print books. Brilliant books and terrible books, both versions of The Good Book, children’s books and adult books. We lent them dictionaries and pictionaries, pop-up books and books you could take into the bath. We lent people self-help manuals and poetry anthologies, horror stories, sci-fi books, fantasy, romance, fiction and non, in hard back and paper. And nobody ever brought any of them back.
The clue to our impending downfall was in one of the few books still left on the shelf. In Hamlet, Shakespeare had written: Neither a borrower, nor a lender be. And he was at least half right. It seems our membership database turned out to be something of a flawed system. We hadn’t asked people for two utility bills or a photocopy of their driver’s licence or passport. We didn’t even have anybody’s name or address.
We thought about buying some more books to fill our emptying shelves. Perhaps stock some DVDs and computer games as well, or sell coffee and cakes. But then we’d just be making the same desperate mistakes as the old libraries had made.
So we gave up. We drove around, giving away whatever books were left. Choosing one book each to keep for ourselves, as a souvenir of our brief adventure in the library business. Carl chose The Bloody History of Self-Surgery and I went for something called The Goth Cop. We parked the empty pant-blue vehicle outside the most miserable sweetshop in the world and stuck one for sale sign in the windscreen and another on the back of a postcard in the window of the shop. With the money we’d get from the sale of the van, we said we were going to buy as much Scalextric as we could afford.
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TEAM JIM BOB TWENTY TEN TENS |
posted by jim on 16/12/10
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JIM BOB
Tens schmens. I've done top sevens, twelves and even a top nineteen albums. Not everything here came out in 2010 either, such as the West Wing which I only got round to watching this year after buying the box set. I'm at the end of series three at the moment. It's this year's The Wire in our house. The previouslys at the beginning of each episode alone are better than most other TV shows. Anyway, here are my top whatevers from whenever.
Albums
Laura Marling – I Speak Because I Can
Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
Edwyn Collins – Losing Sleep
Eels – Tomorrow Morning
Caitlin Rose – Own Side Now
Fionn Regan – The Shadow of an Empire
Orange Juice – Coals to Newcastle
Elvis Costello – National Ransom
Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip – The Logic of Chance
MGMT – Congratulations
Paul Weller – Wake up the Nation
Chris t-t – Love is Not Rescue
Adam Green – Minor Love
Akira the Don – The Kidnapping Of Akira The Don By Joey2tits
Bruce Springsteen – The Promise
Belle & Sebastian – Write About Love
Badly Drawn Boy – It's What I'm Thinking Part One
Everybody's in the French Resistance Now – Fixing the Charts
Thirty Pounds of Bone – Method
Songs
Goodbye England – Laura Marling
See My Evil – Tom Williams & the Boat
The Suburbs – Arcade Fire
Flash Delerium – MGMT
What is My Role? – Edwyn Collins
Nintendo – Chris T-T
Teenage Body Count – Oscar, Connie and Greta Downing
Books
Zeitoun – Dave Eggers
The Given Day – Dennis Lehane
Let the Right One In – Ajvide Lindqvist
Wilson – Daniel Clowes
Player One – Douglas Coupland
How I Escaped My Certain Fate - Stewart Lee
Lean on Pete – Willy Vlautin
What the Hell Are You Doing? – David Shrigley
Tell-All – Chuck Palahniuk
Shutter Island – Dennis Lehane
How Not to Grow Up – Richard Herring
Extremely Loud and incredibly Close – Jonathan Safran Foer
Storage Stories – Jim Bob (Surprisingly good)
TV
The West Wing
The Trip
Breaking Bad
Nurse Jackie
Whites
Miranda
Big Bang Theory
Thick of It
Mock the Week
This is England '86
Outnumbered
The IT Crowd
Would I Lie To You?
Gareth Malone's Extraordinary School for Boys
The Accused
University Challenge
Peep Show
Sherlock
Radio/Podcasts
Collings and Herrin podcast
Dave Gorman, Martin White and Danielle Ward on Absolute Radio
Chris Addison's 7 Day Sunday Radio 5
The News Quiz Radio 4
Collins and Herring on 6 Music
The Unbelievable Truth Radio 4
Robin Ince & Josie Long's Utter Shambles podcast
Films
Let the Right One In
An Education
The Road
The Dissapearance of Alice Creed
Stuck
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
Shutter Island
The Ghost
Four Lions
500 Days of Summer
Up
Telstar
Live Stuff
Laura Marling – London Paladium
Daniel Kitson 66a Church Road
Ross Noble – Hammersmith Apollo
Adam Green – Electric Ballroom
Isy Suttie London – Garage/Soho Theatre
Everybody Was in the French Resistance Now! – Dingwalls
Kernow in the City – ICA
Karaoke Circus – 100 Club
The Midnight Beast – Latitude Festival
Robin Ince & Michael Legge – Pointless Anger, Righteous Ire
Colin Hoult – Enemy of the World
An Hour of Telly Live
Doc Brown – Unfamous
Sara Pascoe Vs Her Ego
The Penny Dreadfuls
Andrew Collins – Secret Dancing
Los Quattros Cvnts
Chris T-T & Tom Williams & The Boat – St Pancras Old Church
Dan Le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip – Edinburgh Liquid Rooms
MARC (management)
Albums Of The Year
A truly fantastic year for albums. I’m sure Laura Marling will top Jim’s (and the critics) list but I don’t really get her. It’s nice and all that but not for me. I adored the Arcade Fire album but do I love it as much as the first two? hmm I’m not sure. But perhaps it ‘s like comparing Low to Diamond Dogs or Ziggy Stardust? And huge kudos to MSP for me. I really don’t care if they perform on shows like Strictly. How is it any different to going on TOTP or any other TV show? I just really enjoyed that album. And how good was Take That’s effort? It was a truly perfect slice of pop with only one duff track on the entire thing. Forget Gary Barlow’s Tory ways or Robbie Williams being a plank – this is pop at its best. It’s a shame to see The Indelicates and Kate Nash at the bottom of the top 20 but whilst their sophomore efforts were good they didn’t live up to the excellence of their first albums.
1. Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
2. David Bowie – Station To Station Reissue (due to the inclusion never released before live album ‘Live At Nasseau’
3. Manic Street Preachers – Postcards From A Young Man
4. Gorillaz – Plastic Beach
5. MGMT - Congratulations
6. Take That – Progress
7. Belle & Sebastian – Write About love
8. The Courteeners – Falcon
9. Brandon Flowers - Flamingo
10. Chris T-T – Love is Not Rescue
11. Paul Weller- Wake Up The Nation
12. Interpol - Interpol
13. Eminem – Recovery
14. Jimmy Eat World - Invented
15. Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
16. Kate Nash - My Best Friend Is You
17. The Indelicates – Songs For Swinging Lovers
18. Neil Diamond – Dreams
19. Vampire Weekend – Contra
20. Pet Shop Boys – Ultimate (because of new track ‘Together’)
Song Of The Year
Gorillaz – On Melancholy Hill (a wonderful, wonderful song that I still can’t stop playing)
Gigs/Shows Of The Year
Due to the birth of my daughter I didn’t get out much!
1. Lady Ga Ga – O2
2. Arcade Fire – Hackney Empire
3. Pet Shop Boys – Hammersmith Apollo
4. Jim Bob – Upstairs @ The Garage (night 2)
5. Doctor Who Live
6. Gutted: A Revengers Musical – Hammersmith Riverside
7. Daniel Kitson: 66a Church Road – New Player’s Theatre
8. Chris T –T – Edenfest
9. Jim Bob, Stewart Lee et al – Bloomsbury Theatre
10. Suede – Royal Albert Hall
11. Little Boots – The House Festival, Chiswick House
12. Adam Green – Electric Ballroom
Books Of The Year
Based on what I have read this year, rather than when they came out. And I seem to have read a lot of bios rather than novels this year.
1. Any Day Now – Kevin Cann (The best book about Bowie ever. It is just totally fantastic beyond belief)
2. How I Escaped My Certain Fate – Stuart Lee
3. Storage Stories – Jim Bob
4. Richard – Ben Myers
5. Falling and Laughing: The Restoration of Edwyn Collins – Grace Maxwell
6. The Writers Tale (Revised) – Russell T. Davies
7. Mother Night – Kurt Vonnegut
8. One Day – David Nicholls (I’m such a girl!)
9. The House Of Sleep – Jonathon Coe
10. Adrian Mole: The Prostrate Years – Sue Townsend
11. The Lonely Polygamist – Brady Udall
12. Apathy For The Devil - Nick Kent
13. Bad Vibes – Luke Haines
14. America Unchained – Dave Gorman
15. Juliet, Naked – Nick Hornby
16. The Fry Chronicles – Stephen Fry
17. Orpheus Rising - Bateman
18. My Booky Wook 2 – Russell Brand
19. Do You Know Who I Am? – Piers Morgan
20. Different For Girls – Louise Wener
TV Shows Of The Year
An amazing year for TV with American dramas showing the UK how its done. Sadly Peep Show may have gone on for one series too far judging by the first two eps of the new series.
1. Sherlock
2. Doctor Who
3. Lost (RIP)
4. The Walking Dead
5. This Is England ‘86
6. Dexter (Season 4)
7. The Trip
8. Modern Family
9. Cougar Town
10. The Sarah Jane Adventures
11. The Accused
12. An Idiot Abroad
13. True Blood (Series 2)
14. The IT Crowd
15. Outnumbered
16. Would I Lie To You
17. Curb Your Enthusiasm
18. Charlie Brooker’s Screenwipe
19. I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here
20. The Event
21. Whites
Special commendation to Question Time – but only when Jim and Chris T-T tweet throughout it. I don’t enjoy the Jools Holland tweets so much as I haven’t watched that show since David Bowie was on it back in 1996 & thus I have no idea what they are talking about.
Films Of The Year
A good year for films. I think ‘Sex, Drugs and Rock n’ roll’ was a big disappointment though. Kudos for Iron Man 2 for being as good as the original. There are loads I am still yet to see like Inception and Scott Pilgrim but I haven’t quite got around to it.
1. Cemetery Junction
2. Toy Story 3
3. Iron Man 2
4. Kick Ass
5. Harry Brown
6. Whip It!
7. Looking For Eric
8. Avatar (3D only)
9. Restrepo
10. Get Him To The Greek
Event Of The Year
Birth of Poppy May Ollington
Hero Of The Year
My wife, Emma
Career rebirth of The Year
Jim Bob
MISTER SPOONS (Roadie, bubblemeister)
Coming soon, probably lots of Doctor Who I imagine.
Well, here they are, better late than not at all. Was very tempted just to put ‘2010: Shit Year – can’t be arsed’, but I didn’t fancy the resulting earache. Usual rules for my nominations: no Carter-related productions, only fair really...
Gigs:
1. Chris T-T – Edenfest 2010 (possibly my favourite-ever Chris performance)
2. Green Day + Frank Turner - Wembley
3. Mick Thomas & Michael Barclay- Hameln
4. Richard Hawley - Latitude
5. Mumford & Sons - Latitude
6. Tom Williams & the Boat – St Pancras Old Church
7. Gary Numan – The Scala
8. Sultans of Ping – Leeds
9. Amy McDonald – Hammersmith Apollo
10. Hayseed Dixie – Wimbledon
Plus five honourable mentions:
Tim Ten Yen – Bull & Gate
Adam Ant – The Scala
Allergy – Aston End
John Cooper Clarke – Latitude
Carus Thompson – The Garage
Comedy/Musical/Theatre
This year, I got culture, innit...
1. Gutted (breaking my own rule, but hey, it’s bloody great)
2. Doctor Who live – Wembley
3. The lovely Isy Suttie® – Soho Theatre
4. Blue Man Group – Las Vegas
5. Colin Hoult – Enemy of the World - Edinburgh
6. Michael Legge – Storytellers Club- Islington
7. Doc Brown - Latitude
8. Robin Ince’s Easter ting at the Bloomsbury
9. Mark Watson - Latitude
10.War of the Worlds – O2
Books:
Look at me, I joined a book club – still didn’t find much I liked, though.
Enjoyed Operation Mincement – Ben MacInytre; Tickling the English – Dara O’Briain; Germania – Simon Winder (even though I haven’t finished it yet – it’s cocking huge!). Can’t make up my mind about The Snowman – Jo Nesbo – is all thriller writing like this these days? If so, bring back Dick Francis. Didn’t enjoy Danny Wallace’s ‘Gentleman’ Book (utter waste of time), Divine Magnetic Lands – some ex-pat Yank (Zzzzzz).
Albums:
Don’t think I can remember a time when I was less excited by buying music, there was a time when I used to buy three or four albums a week... nevertheless:
Album of the Year (and not just because I predicted it in last year's blog): Love is Not Rescue – Chris T-T – I know many people found this album a fairly dramatic departure from his other work and, in that respect it wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Me?, I fecking loved it – if there’s any justice in the music world, the last track ‘Words fail me’ deserves to be a huge International hit in 2011.
Other stuff I liked: Head full of Roadkill – Mick Thomas and Michael Barclay live album; Alabama 3’s latest; Darren Hanlon’s latest; Amy McDonald - A Curious Thing, the new Tenek album (although I wish they’d remember that Facebook isn’t the only fruit when advertising stuff). Also really looking forward to hearing Tom Williams and The Boat’s album after seeing them last Monday. Finally I’d like to mention to the Songs in the Jim of Bob compilation here, but as that is another rulebreaker and would blow even more smoke up Chris T-T’s arse, I won’t.
Films:
Only saw one new release this year: The Infidel – a few funny moments but generally a ‘don’t bother’. Wanted to go and see the Aaron Sorkin thing about Facebook but didn’t get around to it... Jim told me I wasn’t allowed to watch Four Lions when we were on tour, in case I spoilt it for him :(
TV:
Matt Smith’s portrayal of The Doctor pretty much overshadowed everything else TV wise this year -talk about nailing it in one take. Only Episode 1 of Sherlock came close. Thought the ending of Ashes to Ashes was surprisingly coherent and true to the whole series, wish I could have said the same of Lost. Still loving True Blood, still haven’t quite got Walking Dead yet, but persevering. Damages was dark fun, as ever and whilst in NY, the final 24 series was ok until it lost the plot in the final third - still miles better than The Event though. The Sarah Jane Adventures continues to be solid kids TV, which I’m not ashamed to enjoy, thought Russell T Davies episode was a bit of a let-down though (sorry Marc, I know you think it was the best thing ever). Chef was a pleasant surprise, oh and I finally get the IT Crowd after four series – hooray for me.
2010 Televisual Turkeys include: Miranda - I mean why woman? For the love of God, WHY?; The Idiot Abroad - if one more person compares me to that Northern fella, I will scream - a bit of a fez-wearing tosspot I may well be, but hopefully I don’t also come across as a thick, pig-ignorant xenophobe, too; NCIS - Mrs Spoons just discovered it this year and loves it, so I often have to suffer it, but I find the characters incredibly one-dimensional with paper thin, easy to spot plots... Better stop, I’ll be here all night.
2010 Catchphrases that I loved annoying everyone with:
1 ‘John, John, John, John, John... Will you, John?’
2. ‘It’s a Fez. I wear a fez now, Fezzes are cool’.
3. ‘Don’t mess with me, Sweetheart’
Football match of the Year:
Sheff Weds v Palace at Hillsborough. Incredible do-or-die dramatics.
The ‘Ian Wright to Cyrille Regis: I love you like a Man’ Award goes to Matt Smith (even though, I’ve just discovered if he does have a completely unhealthy Eric C*****a obsession: Man up, fella).
The slightly unnerving ‘I’d even sit through an episode of Peep Show ’ Award goes to The lovely Isy Suttie®
That concludes the often irascible thoughts of the Spoons jury. Here’s to a better, calmer 2011.
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Don't Go Breaking My Heart |
posted by jim on 30/08/10
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It was the final performance of Gutted last night and I'm missing everyone already. Even John the racist dog. I haven't felt like this since I left school. I should have got everyone to sign my shirt and throw eggs and flour at me. To take my mind off it I've been tidying the flat I've spent the past month in. I've eaten whatever food is left over so I don't have to throw it away. My last supper consisted of crumpets, cheese, Starburst, cheesy wotsits and a Penguin biscuit. Beat that Jesus. I've just ironed the tablecloth - I washed it because it had a curry stain on it - and I'm having a cup of the tea Mister Spoons left behind after his visit the other day. I don't drink tea.
I've changed.
I think the moment I knew I'd changed was the day after the Gutted wrap party when I remembered how at the party the night before Don't Go Breaking My Heart was played and the male cast members had stood in a line on one side of the room and sang the Elton John parts while the female members of the cast faced them on the other side of the room and sang Kiki Dee's bits. I was Elton John and I was loving it. The indie police would be waiting for me at Kings Cross.
Tomorrow I get the train back to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. I'm going to have a lie down and a bath. After that, I really have no idea.
To ease myself from the world of musical theatre and back into the world of standing on a stage on my own in a pub with an acoustic guitar, me and Mister Spoons are going to wear make up at my first solo gig for a while.
Buy tickets to see that happen here
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Sophomore Slump. Sopholess Slump. |
posted by jim on 20/08/10
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I was going to write a second novel during the day. I was going to sit in the caffs and coffee houses of Edinburgh and write. Like JK Rowling. I could even write it in the same coffee shop where Rowling wrote Harry Potter. I know where it is, I've walked past it fumfty times. There's a sign in the window Maybe if I sat in there for long enough some of that speccy boy magic would rub off on me and I'd get something done.
All those music idiots who talk about difficult second albums should have a go at writing a second novel. 30 Something was a piece of piss compared to this. I think it needs more pictures. I hope I haven't got drawer's block too.
I'm at the biggest arts festival in the world and I'm spending too much time watching telly (there's nothing on telly). I haven't seen enough shows. I feel a bit guilty about it. But I'm not on holiday. I'm here to work for Cliff 's sake. Leave me alone. I love being in Gutted. I feel a bit like I'm in a band again. A gang. I reckon if it comes down to it - and it's bound to - the cast of Gutted could take any other show in a fight. Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough. We've got a chainsaw.
Here's a video of me on my night off 'singing' Common People at Karaoke Circus. Why do I keep drawing people's attention to this. http://tinyurl.com/2wy3ocs
Buy tickets for Gutted A Revenger's Musical
Buy my first and hopefully not my last novel Storage Storiesl
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Jim Bob's Fringe |
posted by jim on 17/08/10
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I used to write a fairly regular blog, then I joined Twitter. My last blog was on the second of February, it consisted of the word CRISPS and the word tastic, and this picture taken backstage at Robin Ince's life changing Godless shows last Christmas. Anyway, for somebody who calls themselves a writer, whether it's songs or novels or film scripts - yes, I'm Barry Renaissance - I don't seem to do a lot of writing. I'm typing this on an iPad that I bought so I could start on my second novel in all the down time I was going to have while I'm up in Edinburgh performing in Gutted A Revenger's Musical - that's right, I'm in a musical, I told you, I'm Barry Renaissance.
This iPad is essentially a large Twitter app. I've written sod all.
I should be blogging about what a great time I'm having and about all the lovely new friends I've made and about their fantastic shows like this one http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/comedy/colin-hoult-enemy-of-the-world And this http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/comedy/doc-brown-unfamous And this http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/comedy/hour-of-telly-live-free and this http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/comedy/penny-dreadfuls and this http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/comedy/sara-pascoe-vs-her-ego
I should be telling you about what it's like to wear a fat suit onstage every night, a fat suit that ironically is making me lose weight. And about how expensive this flat is and how the fridge is broken and about how I didn't realise quite how much I missed my family until they got on the train back to London yesterday. I should link to this stupid review
http://hairline.org.uk/2010/08/15/robin-ince-and-michael-legge-pointless-anger-righteous-ire/ that calls me Billy Bragg-esque, which is just lazy, like calling wee Jimmy Krankie Billy Connolly-esque. Or something. I could write all about my trip up Calton Hill and how I hadn't been up there since I went with my dad when I was 10. And how in my ten year old's memory there was a lot more of Athens in the Athens of the North than there actually is. I've got so much to say about the amazing Edinburgh buildings and what a great place it is to walk around and how much better London could be if it had an extinct volcano at the bottom of Regent Street. I should be banging on about how brilliant Gutted is and about how you should buy a ticket to see it before it becomes a Broadway smash hit and my role gets taken over by Bono or Billy Bragg. There really is so much to tell you.
But I'm just too lazy.
Get tickets for the funniest musical ever written with the best songs and the greatest acting ever seen, that within a year will be the subject of a Graham Norton fronted BBC Saturday night show called How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sorrow? Or something much punnier than that. http://www.edfringe.com/whats-on/theatre/gutted-a-revenger-s-musical
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CRISPS! |
posted by jim on 2/02/10
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tastic!
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TEAM JIM BOB'S 2009 CULTURAL LISTS |
posted by jim on 9/12/09
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JIM BOB
ALBUMS
I bought more old albums than new this year. These were the new ones.
Jarvis Cocker – Further Complications
Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band – Outer South
Art Brut – Art Brut vs Satan
Arctic Monkeys – Humbug
Lily Allen – It’s Not Me, It’s You
Elvis Costello – Secret, Profane and Sugarcane
GIGS
Edwyn Collins at the Bloomsbury Ballroom
Laura Marling at the Bloomsbury Ballroom
Ross Noble at the Croydon Fairfield Halls
Fleet Foxes at the Roundhouse
Tim Ten Yen at various venues
Chris T-T at 93 Feet East
Art Brut at the Electric Ballroom
Book of Job musical at the Camden Head
The Devils Hatband at Kev & Lou’s wedding
Clinton USM at Jamm
BOOKS
Cormac McCarthy – various books
Nick Cave – The Death of Bunny Monroe
Douglas Coupland – Generation A
Chuck Palahniuk – Pygmy
Denis Lehane – A Drink Before the War
Michael Chabon – The Amazing Adventures of the Escapist
Ari Folman & David Polonsky – Waltz with Bashir
The Damned United – David Peace
Will Self – Liver
Haruki Murakami - What I Talk About When I Talk About Running
FILMS
District 9
The Reader
In The Loop
Anvil - The True Story of Anvil
The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas
The Wrestler
Changeling
Let the Right One In
The Damned United
Watchmen
Slumdog Millionaire
Gran Torino
TV
Wire
The Thick of It
Generation Kill
Breaking Bad
Red Riding
Mock the Week
The Big Bang Theory
The Street
Criminal Justice 2
NCIS
Family Guy
Miranda
Ross Noble’s Australian Trip
Would I Lie to You?
Harry Hill’s TV Burp
Anything with Charlie Brooker in
We Need Answers
RADIO/PODCASTS
Adam and Joe Show on BBC 6
Collings and Herrin podcasts
The News Quiz on Radio 4
Mark Watson Makes the World Substantially Better
OTHER GUBBINS
The Revolution Continues – New Chinese Art at the Saatchi Gallery
Swimming
MANAGER MARC
Top 15 Albums Of The Year
1. Lady Gaga - The Fame
2. Lilly Allen - It's Not Me, It's You
3. Manic Street Preachers - Journal For Plague Lovers
4. Pet Shop Boys - Yes
5. Jim Bob - Goffam
6. Julian Cassablancas - Phrazes For The Young
7. Eminem - Relapse
8. Little Boots - Hands
9. Conor Oberst & The Mystic Valley Band - Outer South
10. A-ha - Foot Of The Mountain
11. The Orphans - For Queen and Country
12. Neil Diamond- It's a Cherry, Cherry Christmas
13. Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansoon - Break Up
14. Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown
15. Madness - The Liberty Of Norton Folgate
Top 10 Songs Of The Year
1. Little Boots - Remedy
2. Lady Gaga - Paparazzi
3. Pet Shop Boys - Building A Wall
4. Lilly Allen - The Fear
5. A-ha - Foot Of The Mountain
6. Julian Cassablancas - 11th Dimension
7. Manic Street Preachers - Jackie Collins Existential Questions
8. Jim Bob - Not Far From Here
9. Beyonce - Halo
10. The Enemy - Sing When You're In Love
Top 10 Gigs Of The Year
1. Neil Diamond - MGM Grand Las Vegas
2. Carter USM - The Forum
3. Carter USM - Brixton Academy
4. My Life Story - Koko
5. Pet Shop Boys - 02
6. Morrissey - Brixton Academy
7. Blur - Hyde Park
8. Sultans Of Ping - The Garage
9. A-ha - 02
10. Jim Bob - Borderline
Top 10 Films Of The Year
1. Moon
2. Nick And Norah's Infinate Playlist
3. The Wrestler
4. District 9
5. He's Just Not That Into You
6. Wolverine
7. Slumdog Millionaire
8. Watchmen
9. An Education
10. The Reader
Top 10 Books That I Read This Year
1. The Road - Cormac McCarthy
2. A Fraction Of The Whole - Steve Holtz
3. Breakfast Of Champions - Kurt Vonnegut
4. Haruki Murakami - What I Talk About When I Talk About Running
5. Sebastian Barry - The Secret Scripture
6. The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins
7. Bowie - Mark Spitz
8. Charles Dickens - Great Expectations
9. Kvin Whitcher & Alex Fynn - Arsenal: The Making Of A Modern Superclub
10. Nick Griffiths - Dalek, I Love You
Top 15 TV Of The Year
1. Torchwood
2. Flight Of The Conchords
3. The Apprentice
4. Doctor Who Specials
5. True Blood
6. Lost
7. 8 Out Of 10 Cats
8. Alan Carry - Chatty Man
9. Gavin and Stacey
10. Masterchef - The Proffesonials
11. Harry Hill's TV Burp
12. The X-Factor
13. Sarah Jane Adventures
14. Would I Lie to You?
15. Tonight With Jonathon Ross
Man Of The Year
Russell T. Davies - For the greatest TV show ever made. The 5 part Torchwood will never be topped by anything.
UBER ROADIE MISTER SPOONS
Books - Umm nah didn't read any new ones...
Films - a definite improvement on last year I saw three of this years releases at the cinema, one on DVD and one on a plane...
1. District 9
2. Star Trek
3. State of Play
4. Damned United
999999999. The Boat that rocked (fecking awful)
TV:
1. Doctor Who
2. Red Riding
3. Lost
4. True Blood
5. Outnumbered
6. Torchwood: Children of Earth - it was good, but not THAT good Marc :>)
7. Reggie Perrin remake
8. Defying Gravity
9. Damages
10. Sarah Jane Adventures
Still don't quite get: The Wire - watched start to finish on BBC2 over the summer, but think I'm missing something that everybody else sees
Albums:
1 Mumford & Sons: Sign no more
2. Mick Thomas: Spin Spin Spin & Casino Trousers
3. Pet Shop Boys: Yes
4. Tim Ten Yen - '... Beautiful'*
5. Crystal Castles*
6. Tenek - Stateless
7. White Lies - To Lose this life
8. Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown
9. 30lbs of Bone (mini-album) - Sea shanties
10. The Killers - Day & Age*
Huge Disappointment: Depeche Mode: Sounds of the Universe (sounds of utter shite more like, after a decent single gave us false hope too)
Confidently predicting Album of the Year 2010: Chris T-T Love is not Rescue (based on the demos I've heard)
Songs:
1. Little Lion Song - Mumford & Sons
2. Save the World, Get the Girl - The King Blues*
3. Depeche Mode - Wrong
4. Pet Shop Boys - Wall
5. True Blood theme tune*
* - possibly not a 2009 releases, but it's when I first heard them... so shoot me.
Gigs of the Year (a tough one, as I went to quite a few and have a memory like a sieve, don't pay too much attention to the order)
1. Mick Thomas - Gofis, Austria
2. PSB - June 2009 - Millenium Dome
3. My Life Story - Nov 09 - Camden Palace
4. Sultans - Oct 09 - Garage
5. Chris T-T - Nov 09 - Carter aftershow
6. Gary Numan - Nov 09 - Br*****n Dome
7. Blur - Jul 09 - Hyde Park
8. Sparks - Mar 09 - Forum
9. Alison Moyet - Dec 09 - RFH
10. Ultravox - Apr 09 - Portsmouth
Favourite Jim Bob gig: Glasgow 13th Note - September 2009 - it proved difficult to get TJB together on tour this year, but for this gig we were all present plus it was fantastic to have honorary members Chris T-T and TTY on board - leading to some monumental comedy misunderstandings in the bus and a legendary row about marketing deaf dogs! We were slightly anxious about how TTY might be received there, we need not have worried - as always he's loved and adored. The lads played a stormer too. Jim messed up the hotel bookings so we had double beds - instead of family rooms - next hour spent in the bar nervously looking at each other. Hee hee.
Favourite Abdou gig: Brixton aftershow - Nuff said!
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THE BLOG MACHINE YEARS |
posted by jim on 16/11/09
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I doubt I could do a long tour of these Carter shows. It would kill me. At my age. Just the thought of it. Look what happened to Michael Jackson.
The day after the Brixton Academy show I had an incredibly stiff neck, bruised knees, pains in my stomach as though I’d done an hour’s sit-ups with Madonna’s personal trainer and a lump on my forehead from when my guitar attacked me full in the face during ‘A Perfect Day to Drop the Bomb’. It was of course worth it. Those four Carter hours onstage were beyond special.
I had a cold during the final two rehearsals and had become paranoid that I would lose my voice. To be honest, I was thinking about little else. I was going to bed early to stop thinking about it. And then I was having bad dreams – that I couldn’t remember but I know I had them – about losing my voice. I must have been annoying everyone for constantly talking about it. Especially when I was telling them how I needed to rest my voice and couldn’t talk.
A lot goes into those four stage hours. We make it more difficult for ourselves than we need to by having a ridiculously lavish lightshow (this year’s was amazing Nic) and thinking how cool it would be to have a 21 or maybe it was 23-piece boy choir on stage with us Lambeth Council could certainly not be accused of not taking their child performance licensing seriously.
Even the aftershow on Saturday must surely qualify for some sort of best ever aftershow award. Most bands don’t even go to their own parties. On Saturday Fruitbat performed at God knows o’clock with Abdoujaparov, I shouted ‘Touchy Feely’ with Chris T-T and the Hoodrats (I thought I’d dreamt it) and bringing Clinton USM over from Japan was a masterstroke.
I don’t know whether or where or how, when etc we’ll do more Carter shows. My personal feeling as the gigs were approaching was that I felt like I might have a nervous breakdown and couldn’t bear the thought of doing it all again. Then pretty much as soon as the final chord of ‘Rent’ was played at Brixton on Saturday I was already wondering about Christmas 2010. We need to calm down and indeed come down before we make any rash decisions. There are other non Carter things me and Les need to do – that Abdou album has been long awaited long enough and I’ve got my novel out in May (it’s called ‘Storage Stories’ by the way, it’s brilliant, I’m the new Will Self, I expect to win the Booker Prize).
Sadly, some pickpockets tried to rain on the parade this year. It seems it’s currently a problem at big rock gigs. I hope it didn’t spoil things completely for those affected. I don’t know what can be done to stop this sort of thing happening in the future. Naked admission only gigs? A cloakroom for mobile phones (youtube must be shitting themselves)?
So, thank you for coming along and to everyone involved in putting the shows on and making them so successful.
David Cassidy sums up my thoughts quite well here
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